How to set boundaries in relationships without feeling selfish

Answering commonly asked questions about boundaries and relationships and outlining five ways to help you live a happier life.

• Do you find yourself saying “yes” repeatedly when you’d rather say “no”?

• Do you take on so many responsibilities to please others that your health suffers?

• Do you secretly experience resentment, anger, and self-loathing, wondering how you can escape the tangled web of responsibility?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, you are not alone. In an increasingly busy world, many of us are taking on more and more responsibilities, feeling unable to say “no.”

These situations can occur in any aspect of your life — family, friends, work — and the more you take on to please others, the more likely your health is to suffer, making you feel trapped and unhappy.

Setting boundaries can feel selfish when care about others and want to maintain harmony in all your relationships. You want everyone to like you and go to great lengths to keep everyone happy. You like being known as dependable and reliable — being valued and accepted are core to how you see your place in this world.