If you want to find love, ask yourself these questions

As a coach, I help people manifest love. And I’ve seen it all — the girl who thinks she isn’t attractive to men, the guy whose relationship is so tangled up it’s hard for him to imagine unknotting the mess, the girl who is afraid to fess up to her fears, the guy who wants a girl so badly he’ll compromise and compromise until he’s got hardly anything left.

My clients often come to me because they want more confidence. They want to know what went wrong. They want to know what to do to actualize meaningful, lasting love in their life.

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So we talk about all the nitty gritty — when to message, what to message, understanding male and female energy and the differences between our brains and hormones and what that all means for dating and relationships, how to show up authentically while doing the dance that is dating, how attachment styles affect everything, what open and clear communication looks like…the list goes on and on.

But beneath and beyond all that is where we get to the magic — where the real shifts happen. It’s where the tough questions get answered and faced head on. Where you get clear and intentional. Where you discover what’s been holding you back, what scares you, what it means to own who you are and what you want. This is the heart of the matter.

The other stuff becomes easier when you’re plugged into something bigger and deeper. The waiting for a text back, the telling your story for the unpteenth time on a first date, the string of disappointments that come all in a row like a necklace threatening to strangle your last vestiges of hope…it all changes shape. The rollercoaster ride that is dating doesn’t feel so tumultuous anymore. You’re grounded in grace and trust. Confidence surges organically. Success becomes inevitable.

So how do you get to this magical place? Here are some of the most important questions you can ask yourself to start your journey there and to create the foundation you need for manifesting love and true partnership in your life.

Ask yourself:

1. When I imagine my ideal relationship, what does it feel like?
2. In my ideal relationship, how do I make my partner feel?
3. In my ideal relationship, how does my partner make me feel?
4. When I think about the process of finding a partner, what thoughts come up?
5. When I think about love, relationships, and dating, what thoughts come up?
6. What am I willing to risk to find love?
7. What — or who — do I need to give up or let go of in order to find love?
8. What about dating scares me?
9. What about being in a relationship scares me?
10. How do I want to show up in the world?

You have more power than you think to change your story. And the best part is that you can start a new, fresh chapter in just a moment. Let this be your moment.

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If you’re struggling to manifest love in your life, book a free info session with Alexis here.

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Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.com on May 30, 2017.