It Doesn’t Always Have to Hurt

Sometimes people get a little uncomfortable when I talk about the work I do… they think I’m saying things have to be really bad or hard for true changes and growth to happen. That’s not at all what I’m saying.

Growth and change don’t always have to hurt. They don’t always have to be hard and heartbreaking. We don’t always have to hit rock bottom in order to step into a new way of being or to start living life on a new level.

I’ve personally had many growth points in my life that were soft and subtle, yet hugely impactful. Times when I knew something had to change, so I changed it. Moments where things came to a close with some challenges, but they weren’t earth shattering or disruptive. Times where the Universe tapped me gently on the shoulder with some divine clarity that shifted everything quickly and easily.

And yet… some of the most pivotal and transformational moments of my life have been the ones that brought me to my knees.

The times where I wasn’t sure my heart would survive the cracking, or when I was certain my soul could never recover from the losses. Moments where I watched as everything I worked so hard to build burned to the ground around me. The days and weeks and months that stretched my soul so far I wasn’t sure I could ever get back up off the ground.

Life isn’t always easy.
 Change is rarely seamless.
 Growth is often painful and soul stretching.
 And we ALL experience grief and trauma.

If you’re uncomfortable or triggered by those statements, it means there’s something there for you to look at.

I talk about the harder things because I’m not interested in being *just* another empty dose of polished positivity or inspiration. There’s plenty of positive mantras and quotes and “good vibes only” circulating around. I’m interested in having conversations about what’s REAL and TRUE and often HARD and HEARTBREAKING.

Because that’s living this life, in this world, at these times.

And living this life has taught me, time and time again, that true growth and peace and joy come from facing into the parts that hurt like hell. From acknowledging that things aren’t always pretty or peaceful or happy.

Sometimes life hurts.
 Sometimes it’s really, really hard.
 Sometimes it takes us out at the knees.

We need to start meeting each other inside our pain, not shying away out of discomfort or fear. Not calling one another “negative” or trying to gloss over what hurts with fluffy mantras and another pretty quote image.

So many of our issues in life and this world stem from unresolved trauma and grief. I’ve learned and seen and experienced this truth so many times over the last few years… trauma and grief are two things we simply can’t avoid experiencing at some point in our life, to one degree or another.

True, deep, lasting healing requires the courage and willingness to get REAL and HONEST about what’s hard and what hurts.

It’s messy, it’s not pretty, and it’s definitely not fun.
 But it’s the work we all have to do.

So, if my posts make you uncomfortable sometimes… that’s okay. And I’d invite you to take a deeper look into why that might be. What emotions are sitting just below the surface that feel too overwhelming to bear? What memories are showing up that you don’t want to look at? Where are you trying to feel safe and secure by focusing only on what’s positive, rather than facing and acknowledging the parts that aren’t so pretty?

These aren’t easy questions to answer, I know. But I’m here to support you when you’re ready to really dive in deeper.