Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

It’s Our Being That Attracts People Into Our Lives: Do You

I was recently reminded of some advice I gave a friend years ago. That advice is as true today as it was years ago.

My friend is pretty quirky, and to some, has the sense of humor of a teenage boy(whatever that means). I personally have always found her to be quite charming. Many of our mutual friends share my opinion.

The Advice

Years ago after a failed dating experience, she mentioned something along the lines of wanting to become “less weird.” This was in response to the breakup, and the result of so-called friends advising her to tone down her personality until she got to know the guy better. I never agreed with this advice. In so many words, they were essentially advising her to change who she was to make some guy like her.

I am all about self-improvement and developing yourself. But I have never been a proponent of someone changing their personality to be liked by others. I always told her that her quirkiness is the exact attribute that someone is going to love about her the most.

Live Your Truth

It’s the characteristics that make us unique that others find attractive. People are drawn to someone who is comfortable in their own skin and who is sure about themselves. For us to truly be great with another person, we have to be completely comfortable with ourselves. It’s two people who are whole and complete on their own who have the best partnerships.

Filter Out The Bad

In many cases our quirks can be used as a way to filter the wrong kind of people out of our lives.

Months ago I experimented with not owning a car. I went 4 months without transportation to see how I would fare. During this time, if I wasn’t walking, I relied on cycling, public transportation, ridesharing and car sharing to get around.

When I started dating again, I was a little self-conscious and worried about being judged for not owning a vehicle. But before long, I started using it as a filter. If a woman didn’t want to date me because I didn’t own a car, then she wasn’t the kind of person I wanted to be around. Open-mindedness is a quality I desire in a partner. A person’s reaction to me not owning a car was a perfect indication of someone’s mindset.


As I look at that friend who I gave advice to years ago, I am so happy with where she is today. She is a few months away from her wedding day and madly in love with a great guy. She is still just as “weird” and quirky as ever, and her future husband loves everything about it. He has his quirks too. I guess you can say; their “weirds” match. And isn’t that what we all want? Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t truly see you, and appreciates what makes you unique. Do you.

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