I Have No Purpose in Life, and Therein Lies My Purpose

A Chronic Voice
Jun 17, 2018 · 5 min read
I Have No Purpose in Life, and Therein Lies My Purpose
I Have No Purpose in Life, and Therein Lies My Purpose
“What is the purpose of my life?” It’s a timeless question that can be especially disturbing for those with chronic illness. Here’s how I make sense of it.

“What is the purpose of my life?” It’s a timeless, eternal question that has plagued or intrigued humanity since the beginning of time. It is a thought that can be disturbing to me especially when I’m in the throes of extreme pain. What is the point to all this? Any sort of happiness I gain isn’t worth such torture. As the years go by, many of us with chronic illness sink into a state of depression, because physical pain always affects you on a mental level as well. It is never exclusive.

This question scares me on some days, makes me anxious, confused, angry or sad on others, but mostly I come up blank. Perhaps I get a glimmer of inspiration from time to time, but it never lasts. Some people pursue their passions with vigour and it keeps them stimulated and going, but chronic pain is heavy. It weighs you down against your will and wishes.

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One of my favourite quotes of all time!

The Circle of Purpose

A purpose is something of the highest priority in a person’s life. Without one, I am untethered, and I can be fearless. I have nothing to adhere to, nothing to weigh against, nothing to hold me back. Sounds a bit chaotic, doesn’t it? To explain further…

I actually believe other people have purposes to their lives, and because I have none, I can expend my energy on helping them find theirs, which in turn, benefits us all as a society. (If you play RPGs or MUDs, that would be the ultimate support class 😉 ) In the grand scheme of the universe, I am nothing but a speck, a flicker of everchanging emotion, and my pain is but a dot in its fabric.

“Shape clay into a vessel; It is the space within that makes it useful. Cut doors and windows for a room; It is the holes which make it useful. Therefore benefit comes from what is there; Usefulness from what is not there.” — Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Purpose Can Come Later, but Regret is Always Too Late

What I need to do is to simply keep going, no matter thought, circumstance, or emotion. To show the world the most important life skill — acceptance of what is, and to embody the essence of life itself — survival. It’s almost like being an amoeba or cell, which doesn’t contemplate itself into confusion. It keeps going, and because of that, the universe exists.

The Elegance of the Human Spirit

Stop Struggling, and Just Be

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Read More: Give Your Best Anyway, Even When You’re Feeling Depressed

Originally published at www.achronicvoice.com on June 17, 2018.

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