I’m always on my phone. If I’m not on my phone, I’m thinking about being on my phone. And then I realized, I have to have a problem.
Okay. I know I’m not the only one out there who has their phone permanently glued to their hand. Seriously, I can’t really think of a time where I didn’t have easy access to my handy-dandy iPhone. From the stalking of my own six social media pages to the randomness of scrolling on my sister’s best friend’s cousin’s boyfriend’s Instagram to see what’s going on in other people’s lives. I’m always on my phone. If I’m not on my phone, I’m thinking about being on my phone. And then I realized, I have to have a problem.
One day as I was participating in a social media fast, I realized I picked up my phone 36 times in 30 minutes only to remember that I deleted all my apps off of it (oh, the temptation was real). So, I started making a conscious effort to not be so phone needy. I started a new “hobby” earlier this year binge watching Netflix and I’d drain my battery causing me to end my binge and roll over. Well, this particular night I got the idea to plug my phone up on the other side of the room. Panic set it! What if someone calls me? What if I miss a big announcement? What if the dog dies? All of these random thoughts came to mind, yet I still went with my first mind. Since that first day, I’ve made it a ritual to put my phone on the other side of the room and I’ve learned this one thing: IT CAN WAIT!
As a self-diagnosed insomniac, sleep doesn’t come easy nor does staying asleep work well for me. I’d often find myself waking up at 4am checking my emails, responding to texts, or simply checking the time to see how soon my alarm would go off. With my phone on the other side of my bedroom, I’m noticing that the impulse to see that glow coming from my palm is slowly going away. The urge to “know” is dying. And I no longer wake up and immediately grab my phone to see what happened while I was taking an extended nap.
When I wake up, I’m able to pray, mediate and think about my day, before the day comes to me. I don’t check emails at 5am anymore. I don’t waste hours of good sleeping time scrolling aimlessly on Facebook. I’m training my mind to be at ease. There is no better feeling than feeling centered and focused before the weight of the world grabs your attention. My goal was to ease my FOMO (fear of missing out) and I can confidently say, my phone is no longer taking up space on the pillow beside me. And I’m okay with that.