Pattern

When you cry a wonderful stream of tears down your little face, I know. I hear you, I see you, I feel you. I am here. I am you. You are loved so deeply even though you feel alone. You often feel unseen. You often go unheard. You desire to escape into the life of another. Through movies. Through music. Through disappearing into a relationship. It’s not even co-dependency. It’s the desire to shift completely. To be engulfed. To become something else entirely that is completely unrecognizable to yourself. And you trust anyone to take you there because you are giving and full of love. You open and give of yourself, so that you are depleted and can die away easily. But that changes the dynamics. You aren’t you when your strengths and desires fall away. You aren’t you when you are completely drained and wanting/needing to be someone different. This trait is unrecognizable in yourself to everyone but you. And they turn away. They let you go in this state. They cannot give you the escape you are looking for and give you the nourishment you need to feel whole again. For they are not whole and they needed you to give it to them. You’ve changed and they are no longer interested in figuring you out because now you are too complex. Too much. Too needy. They can’t love you anymore. And so they disappear from your life and leave you to rebuild yourself, offering no assistance. Showing no care in how you are doing or what you are doing to put your life back into place. But in doing so by your own strength and will through the help of a larger voice compelling you it must be done, you become amazed by the healing abilities you never knew you had. You realize the magic you can create just by shifting your thoughts. You gain pride in your resilience, a depth to it that you never thought possible. You become you again — more authentic even, and stronger than ever before. And you become magnetic. Attracting people and opportunities left and right. You shift your life and you manifest your dreams and create abundance. But you will be tempted to fall into the patterns of before again and again. And you will have to remind yourself of your story and your life and what has brought you here now. For it is meant to be and you are learning your next lesson — solidify the old and move forward. You are wonderful and the joy of being you fills you. So, let yourself embrace it.

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