Relationships that Won’t Break
What makes a relationship work? What makes it last? My response is a connection that goes down deep and is filled with so much love that you never want to break it. Now, how do we create this?
Looking into my past relationships, I see that I’ve shifted with each one. However, one thing remains true: with each relationship, it started with my truth and ended with my truth. This truth entailed me sharing with my potential partner: What I was looking to create in my vision for a dream relationship as well as our life.
Even when I’m life coaching or practicing ThetaHealing(r), I always start with my client’s vision as our foundation to evolve from.
During those first “get-to-know-you-interview” dates, I believe the guys become enrolled in my vision and if they love it, the relationship carries on, and then, life happens. You know, the non-fairytale life.
When living in non-fairytale life, even though I’m still after my dreams, I notice I slowly start to adapt to my partner’s vision for their dreams. Although, our big picture vision for a relationship might match, when it comes to the small details they may be off base and not necessarily a soul’s match for me. This is a pattern I can see in my past relationships. Curious if you can relate?
After bliss turns into reality I’ve noticed that in some relationships, I’ve been very vocal about my needs. Then with others, I’ve turned inward to do the work on WHY those needs are important instead of voicing them to my Man. Let me be radically honest and share… neither of these tactics has worked well for me!
Being vocal created frustration externally within the relationship. Whereas analyzing internally, brought about an inside frustration which could eventually boil to a possible explosion.
When I’m conflicted, I always turn to my intuition and ask for guidance during meditation. A few months back, what came to me during one of these prayer meditations was a breakthrough that felt miraculous as I realized it had always been missing with the partners I chose to be in a relationship with, yet I knew I had craved so much to have…
The mutual ability to be “vulnerably naked in communication”.
This was the exact phrase that came to me.
Based on all my coaching, I know that it’s never the argument. It’s what’s underneath the frustration, stress, and anger. When you dig down to the next levels you’ll find it’s often sadness, it’s pain, and it all ultimately stems from a place of FEAR.
The word FEAR, by the way, means False Evidence Appearing Real. Truly, it’s the last thing that should have the power to lead you towards conquering your highest and best soul’s match when it comes to relationships. It does the exact opposite.
You could be triggered by childhood trauma or past relationship issues, neither have anything to do with the other person. The emotional response comes from yourself and your depths. Once you figure out where you are emotionally being triggered from, the next step is that raw honest communication from the heart.
Share from a place of connection and communication where you feel naked, exposed, and uncomfortable. Where you feel it might bring the worst fears to the front… judgment from our partners or the death of a relationship.
You also must know the magic of this as well, that when we allow ourselves to get this “vulnerably naked in communication”, we open ourselves up to receive the greatest love imaginable with our partners.
When we drop our masks and walls as men and women, we will feel exposed and completely unprotected, similar to the story of Adam and Eve after they had eaten the apple. This is the point though, go there: fall into that FEAR and let love catch you.
I’m learning as I go and know that I’m always guided should I choose to listen to my intuition.
Being “vulnerably naked in communication”, in many relationships, brings a new level of authenticity to the table. It shows you are courageous and worth loving because you are acknowleding your truth, your story, and your journey in life.
This type of communication can support all relationships by the way. Even in business it will bring a whole new level of communication and connection to the table. Seriously, there is nothing to hide.
Everyone has their pain’s and their ups and downs to work through, such is life. When communicating at this level, bonds are strengthened allowing a new level in all relationships from friends to family to co workers, and beyond. Why? It comes from a raw truthful place and shall only produce LOVE.
If it is not love that you receive, know that it could be your delivery or when you chose to share as well.
Know that WHEN you choose to be in this radically honest conversation matters immensely as the partner must agree to be there in communication with you as well. Preferably there are no distractions and you are in a space where you both feel comfortable, present, and safe. Eye contact and touch will support you as well in vulnerability, although it may be difficult. Keep falling into that fear.
When in communication, tying back to your mutual vision of a relationship as mentioned in the beginning will also be a huge support. You naturally want to be on the same page with your dreams.
If you feel in your heart of hearts that your truths were not received well, you know that this might not be the relationship that is in alignment for you at this time. Maybe it is a lesson for you to experience. Regardless, you are always open to being divinely guided and fully taken care of.
So who will you choose to be “vulnerably naked in communication with”?
Challenge: next time you feel upset by someone, figure out where it’s coming from and share with your partner what’s going on from your end. Fall into that fear and let love catch you.
You are worth loving for ALL of who you are.
Step into that kinda courageousness!
I swear it’s true.
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Also, if you haven’t already, download this FREE “Are you even aligned to your dreams worksheet”