Scared to make daily unreasonable like the Apple co-founder Steve Jobs?
Couple of years ago, I was fortunate enough to stumble upon an exercise that Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple did in his earlier years.
The exercise involved asking close people to you to tell you about what they liked and disliked about you. You can also ask them if they have any suggestion on how you should be living life. You can find the full description of the exercise from the book The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod.
Typically, it’s best to ask those questions from mentors and people who you really look up to.
First of all, it was an incredibly difficult move to just hit SEND and have an email with all those questions sent to so many people in my social circles. It was certainly a courageous action for me to be seen as someone who cares about other’s opinion on me.
It was painful to even think how there could be a lot of negative opinions come from that one email. In my head, I predicted what responses I could get and defended some too.
To my surprise, some of the closest people to me responded by saying something along the lines of:
“You are a polite person and there is not much to dislike about you”.
If I were to read that when I was a teenager, I’d see that as a compliment. However, what that really meant was they barely knew me. It was really tough for me to realize some of the people I interacted with on a daily basis had no idea who I am.
One of the contributing factor to not wanting to be seen subconsciously was severe Nodulocystic acne I had since I was 12. If you don’t know about my story of becoming a biohacker, the traditional health care did not help me heal that for the next 10 years of life.
After pondering on how invisible I must have been to so many people around me I came up with the following three strategies to rectify that issue.
The first thought was to create a new being and stand for my ideas by taking a side on any circumstance. Even though everything in life is a projection of our thoughts, I realized I can at least emotionally engage myself about my own needs and wants.
A friend of mine, Ross Jeffries, a television personality, once shared that his mother told him:
if he doesn’t upset (NOT harm) one person every day he hasn’t lived a large enough life.
I think if we don’t upset people around us is because we hide something from them. There is always going to be something we do that is not pleasing to someone. It only make sense when have couple unique people who have formed their own opinions about everything based on their unique upbringings and environment.
There is not much excitement about living and ordinary life pleasing everyone around us. There is a tremendous level of joy and fulfillment around staying true to ourself and stand for who we really are.
One of the best books I’ve read is Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson. In his book, he says:
In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected ideas.
I wholeheartedly believe that greatness is only liked by some people and not all.
When I think of Steve Jobs, I think of how unreasonable he was with his team. He was so unreasonable people around him believed he has an illusion that life happened in a certain way and his mission was to demonstrate that to everyone.
The second thought was to change my behavior by breaking my pattern around what seemed unreasonable to me.
It was definitely a journey to get in touch with my soul again to see what I truly wanted from others around me. Inspired by my friend Joseph’s, the founder of Success Circles, I decided to make one unreasonable requests every day. To this date, I kept that habit and the count is 738 unreasonable requests in a row.
You can listen in to my interview on Bold Move podcast HERE for more details about the unreasonable requests.
The whole idea of making unreasonable requests seemed very controversial and it was exactly what I needed to try on at the time. Fro example, asking TSA at the airport to be treated as a priority and not wait in lines so I could catch my plane and calling a stranger to drive 4 hours outside her schedule when I was stuck in a middle of nowhere and needed to be on stage to perform an improv comedy show at the Upright Citizen Brigade (UCB) theatre.
For some people, they have to dial down on how unreasonable they are. While, others they need to dial it up.
For me, I had to care a little bit more about my own needs and ask for help from others. Reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown and The Art of Asking By Amanda Palmer were certainly helpful in my journey.
Looking back, it was certainly unreasonable for me to call someone to drive me to my show even though that show meant a lot to me. In other words, in the past, my character dictated that it was safer to miss the show than ask for help.
Missing the show would be ordinary as I had every excuse I needed for my team members. At the time, I didn’t have a car and I’d left my wallet at home. From where I was in Northridge about an hour outside LA, there were barely any cars moving around me.
I thought about my options. Could I be hitch hiking my way to my show? What kind of friend would come pick me up immediately and drop me off at my show? I honestly did not have a such friend at that time. I though my friends wouldn’t care about my hobby anyways.
Oddly enough, an uber driver that I’ve met 3 month prior cared enough to drive an for 4 hours to drop me off to my show. Isn’t it weird that someone who doesn’t even know me cared more than let’s say my closest friends at the time.
I don’t think that’s odd at all, if you ask me. It was a realization for me later on that humans care about each other in a way that we may not consciously be aware of.
Also, I want to emphasize something anything and everything can be important based on the meaning we give it to. Even though the performance at the nationally recognized theatre did not seem life changing, it certainly impacted my life significantly.
I’m not thinking about the performance as a stand alone activity. Our life is a chain of behaviors and actions and by changing one action you can make a significant change in your life.
Think of it as a chain of precious stones or pearls in a necklace. The necklace is made of so many pearls and each one of them alone is responsible for holding the stone to the right and the left.
Everything in our life is connected to one another.
Really, take a minute and think about that sentence above. I found that what I do at any moment is responsible for my future that I live into.
Have you ever thought about whether today, yesterday and possibly the past couple of years are not significantly different? I thought about it and as Steve Jobs would say in his speech:
it was a painful medicine to swallow and I needed it.
After graduating from Landmark forum, I took a deep look at what has been so for the past 10 years of my life. There was no judgment and it was still painful to see my character behaves in a certain way . It was fascinating to see my character barely does anything outside those behaviors.
Having worked at a hospice house for sometime, losing 2 of my closest friends at the age of 10 and my near death experience, I have thought about the ending moment of our life a lot. My idea of leaving a legacy has crystalized to be creating a culture of super-humans where optimum performance is the new standard of living.
In 2017, I set the intention to serve 3700 ambitious individuals through my biohacking course.
In the course, I’ve included what helped me heal my skin issues that I had for 10 years in 4 weeks. It was also what I needed to add 215 lbs to my deadlift in couple of months. You can learn more about my latest biohacking experiment on my Instagram: @hackmybiology