When you communicate, let the message come through your eyes.
They say eyes are the window to your soul, so your eyes will be the best gauge to evaluate your thoughts and feelings on an issue. Simply look into the mirror and make a statement in one direction or the other. Check for gentle compassion and love vs distance and ambivalence.
Here’s an example — try saying the following two statements and take a look at what you see:
- I believe hurting other people and animals is ok.
- I believe treating others with love is the best path.
In the first example, you might notice you feel a bit removed from the statement, your eyes lack focus, and any ‘sparkle’ seems to be missing. In the second example, you’ll notice you feel more relaxed, direct eye contact with yourself is easier to make, and your eyes ‘soften’, so to speak.
Every time you communicate, this is what we see in you, subconsciously. We either see you are distant and what you’re saying is incongruent to who you are and what you really mean to say, or we feel connected with you and ‘get’ you. When we get you, we allow ourselves to tap into your emotions, and feel empathy. Through empathy we build trust, connection, and a deeper bond.
We’ve all met the person who never seems to say what s/he means. That’s not a fun person to be around, because we know everything is on the surface and no words can be taken seriously. On the other hand, when I write to you, I make it a point to be as sincere as possible, consistent with how I feel, what I do, and any action I plan to take from this point forward.
My words — and my in-person communication, albeit verbal or non-verbal — are consistent with who I am, gentle and loving in nature, and sincere. This is one of the most important things I can teach you, because it’s probably what keeps you reading, helping yourself, and helping others.
Today, your lesson is to be sincere. Align with yourself and your own beliefs. Re-evaluate your beliefs from time to time, as you grow, and don’t be afraid to change your mind. Along the way, just be sincere.
I suspect you’ll be delighted with how your closest relationships tighten, your enemies lose their power, and new people find you with open minds and hearts.
I’m so grateful for you,
Originally published at drkareem.com on February 12, 2017.