Stressed out, or burnt out? Why your job might be killing you.

We all experience stress at some point: a pressing deadline while someone needs you to do something else, a child screaming while you’re trying to have an important conversation, an unexpected bill.

Stress is an adaptive response to demands. With continued stress, however, what should a transient state of emotion begins to create problems. Chronic stress may provoke anxiety, mood swings and fatigue. You might also notice a lack of motivation and an impaired ability to concentrate.

Years ago, I began working with someone who came in to every session exclaiming, “I’m so stressed out!” She would begin a litany of everything that was stressing her out, meanwhile continuously pulling her phone out of her purse, “I just have to check one thing!” I noticed that by the end of her sessions, I, too, was feeling stressed out.

She was alarmed when I asked her to begin leaving her phone in the car during our sessions. She feared missing an important call or email or text. I suggested we work to understand her fear and develop new ways to cope with it, rather than being tethered to her phone.

Her anxiety was palpable the first sessions without her phone.

When you’re stressed, your brain tells you that you have to stay vigilante. Your brain goes into hyperdrive with all the things that could be going wrong, will go wrong, might have already gone wrong and how will you fix it! This is one way our brain uses to keep us locked into familiar routines. This is precisely why it’s imperative to break the cycle: this cycle keeps us chained to unhealthy coping behaviors and keeps your stress level high.

With chronic stress, you might notice some or all of the following:

• Depression or general unhappiness.
• Anxiety and agitation.
• Moodiness, irritability, or anger.
• Feeling overwhelmed.
• Loneliness and isolation.
• Other mental or emotional health problems.

Burn-out is not just having a lot of stress, it’s the result of feeling so overwhelmed that you lose motivation. You stop caring. Burn-out doesn’t happen overnight, it tends to creep in subtly so that you might overlook the signs of stress.

Being burned out means feeling mentally exhausted, devoid of motivation, and a lack of interest or caring. People experiencing burnout often don’t see any hope of positive change in their situations. While you’re usually aware of being under a lot of stress, you don’t always notice burnout when it happens.

Burnout often stems from your job. However, it can creep in wherever you feel undervalued and overworked. Working in a job that’s monotonous or feeling that what you do doesn’t matter, or that your efforts are overlooked can lead to burnout.

As with stress, your personality and lifestyle also play a factor into your risk for burnout.

Perfectionism, pessimism, and a reluctance to delegate can all increase stress. Not taking time off or spending time with people you enjoy can lead to burnout as well.

Signs of burnout include:

• Disengagement
• Blunted emotions
• Helplessness and hopelessness
• Loss of motivation, ideals, and hope
• Detachment and depression
• Primary damage is emotional
• May make life seem not worth living

Whereas a lot of the symptoms of stress are physical, burnout tends to have more emotional and mental health implications.

So, what can you do if you’re seeing yourself in either category?

Be more sociable with co-workers. Yes, you’d probably rather check your phone and read TMZ, but talking to others builds a support system.

Limit your contact with negative people.There may be some you can’t avoid altogether but you can work at keeping healthy boundaries.

Reach out to those closest to you. Perhaps they’ve noticed already and will welcome the chance to talk to you. You need people to bounce ideas off of, and to commiserate with. If depression and isolation have become an issue, find a professional to talk to such as clergy, a therapist or a life coach.

Find a cause you believe in and volunteer. When we’re reaching out to others, we’re less likely to remain fixated on ourselves.

After several sessions, my client commented that she had noticed she was feeling calmer during our time together. She extended her time away from her phone to putting it away during lunch and then extended it to turning it off at night.

“I can’t believe how much better I feel! I know coming here has helped, but I’m really beginning to see how I was making it worse by believing I had to be available at all hours.”

Burnout is a sign that something in your life isn’t working. You may have let go of a dream, or stopped believing that anything could change or be different for you. It’s necessary to re-evaluate what you’re doing and ask yourself, is there something more for me out there?

Make sure you take time for activities you find enjoyable. Whether it’s meditation, a night out with a friend, or seeing a movie, it’s essential to combat burnout by seeking out experiences that will help restore you.

Burnout may feel like the end, but it doesn’t have to be. Take care of yourself.