Ten Ways to Cope with Pandemic Panic
Finding inner peace in the midst of anxiety about COVID-19
The news is never-ending and increasingly worrisome about COVID-19, or the coronavirus. Just reading the word, coronavirus, notice how your body feels. Tight? Contracted? Is your breathing high up in your chest? Is your throat constricted? Are thoughts and worst-case scenarios playing out in technicolor in your head? If your response is somewhere between vague uneasiness and full-fledged panic, you are not alone.
Anxiety about health is often present, and increasingly so in this moment in time. Our brains have an innate negativity bias, focused on and drawn to the negative over the positive, which kicks our brain’s safety radar, the amygdala, into high gear. We worry about the known, the statistics rising worldwide and in our communities, as well as about the unknown. Is this sniffle just allergies or is it the virus? How will I financially support my family if I can’t go to work? Will my elderly or physically vulnerable loved ones be ok? How will I cope emotionally with weeks of social distancing?
As a psychotherapist, I often support my clients in their desire to decrease anxiety. Living with anxiety has a myriad of negative effects on our physical and mental health, and finding ways to make peace with uncertainty and calm our nervous system serves our well-being and our world. So what do we do when we feel crippled with anxiety? Here are ten ideas; maybe one or two feel like a good place to start, for you.
- Clarify your fear.
When it comes down to it, fear is often amorphous. We may feel fear in our bodies, without being certain of the specifics of that fear. When our amygdala, the part of our brain that responds to threat with a fight, flight, or freeze response, is activated by a sense of fear, we lose access to the prefrontal cortex, or the part of our brain that can think rationally.
In light of this, what is our particular fear around the coronavirus? Is it that we will get sick ourselves? Or our children will get sick? Or our parents? Is it that we are losing access to our school, work, faith communities, vacation plans, social support systems? Is it that we will run out of food or water?
Getting specific about what it is that we fear will allow us to move into the next step — reality testing.
2. Get good information. Not too much, not too often, from the right sources. (And not before bed!)
We are surrounded by a constant barrage of information. The news thrives on sensationalism and fear. And we often live with the irrational belief that being informed gives us more control over what is unfolding.
At the same time, we do need to find reliable information in order to make wise decisions for ourselves and our families. These are scary times, with many peoples’ lives at risk and systems and resources stretched thin.
There are plenty of reliable sources for information on COVID-19 that are updated regularly. The Washington Post, the New York Times, the CDC and WHO, and other reliable news media outlets are much wiser choices for information gathering than Facebook or other social media platforms. Find one or two that you trust, and use it as your touch point, rather than doing a deep dive.
Sometimes, it’s too hard to sift through information for ourselves; we may notice that reading one article leads us clicking our way through many others, drowning us in a pit of anxiety-producing information overload. We can use some tactics to support ourselves in getting the right amount of information by asking a trusted other to be our conduit of news, or even by setting a timer on our phone before we start reading for five minutes, after which we stop reading news, no matter what. Another tactic is to use social media only to connect and uplift, and not to click on news links. And being thoughtful about when in our days we gather information can also support us in reducing anxiety — try to avoid reading the news right before bed or first thing in the morning. Try using those times of transition to practice gratitude or mindfulness instead.
When we have accurate information, we can sift through our fears to find what is true. While those of us who are parents have a constant level of concern activated for our children, the reality is that, thankfully, children seem minimally affected by this virus. If we can release that fear, we can free up some emotional energy to focus on the things that are true: caring for older or vulnerable adults in our communities, practicing good hygiene and social distancing, planning for enough food, medicine, supplies to weather a period of time in our homes.
3. Talk about things other than the coronavirus with the people you love.
With a worldwide pandemic, it can be hard to connect to others without feeling like that connection fuels our fear. This is a good moment to be curious about the people in your life who help you feel safe, and the tactics you have (or need to practice) to create boundaries around conversations that may fuel fear over connection. Check in with your body as you are talking with others. If it feels ok to talk about your fears, do so. If you find yourself getting tenser and more anxious, take a time-out or change the topic. Something as simple as, “I’d rather talk about something different right now,” can redirect a conversation so that you are not just rehashing the same facts and uncertainties.
4. Connect in meaningful ways with the people you love.
At the same time, make sure you are connecting. This period of social distancing will quickly feel isolating, and isolation can be a fertile space for anxiety and depression to grow. Use the gift of social media, FaceTime and Skype, to connect. Texting is fine, but we will feel a deeper sense of connection and the sense of safety and well-being that comes from that connection when we are able to see someone’s face, or hear their voice (and if you text, by using emojis!). If meal times feel particularly isolating, do a virtual hangout dinner date. Play online games together or work on cross-word puzzles together on an app. Learn a silly dance together. Watch old SNL clips at the same time. Laugh together! Whatever brings you joy and connection in a safe way, do it. Schedule it if you need to. Care for yourself, and each other, by staying connected.
We will miss hugs and handshakes while keeping our distance to keep each other well; physical touch is essential to our mental health and well-being. So find ways to connect with family members in your household for more frequent hugs or cuddles as long as you are all healthy. Or even offer yourself physical touch by placing a hand on your own heart or holding the thumb of one hand in the fist of your other. And do things like enjoy a warm shower, really feeling the sensations, or do gentle stretching that feels nourishing and kind to your body.
5. Plan in ways that help you feel empowered, but don’t buy into the myth of scarcity.
Anyone who has been to a grocery or warehouse store in the last week has seen the widespread panic as displayed by empty shelves. Hand sanitizer, toilet paper, and canned goods are hard to come by, while stores struggle to keep up with re-stocking. Being prepared for several weeks of social distancing or quarantine is wise; buying a year’s worth of toilet paper is not.
The CDC has a recommendation guide for preparing and planning for COVID-19. Here, experts weigh in on the right amount of preparation. Remembering that we often have more than we need, and that consumerism, buying things, often feeds an illusion of control that is not necessarily true or helpful. And when we panic and hoard in response to that panic, we often take resources we don’t truly need from people who do need them.
An antidote to fear of scarcity is to practice gratitude. Holding in mind all that you do have, all the ways in which, in this moment, you have enough, can support you in finding more ease in the midst of fear. Think of your loved ones — use all your senses to imagine their smell, how they sound, what their skin feels like. Think of the goodness that you do have — a roof over your head, enough food in your belly, access to resources. Gratitude is not a dismissal of real suffering, but it is a choice to actively focus on that in our lives which is positive and a corrective lens for our brain’s inherent negativity bias. Gratitude helps us to zoom out and gain perspective, just as compassion does.
6. Practice compassion and kindness in your thoughts and actions for others in your community or in the world.
Coronavirus is scary for everyone, yet it is far more dangerous for some. Vox did a great article on how to take care of others in the midst of this pandemic. By preparing just enough, not buying into a fear of scarcity, we ensure that there is enough for everyone. And we also give ourselves the opportunities to stay more engaged in our community, concerned for each other, sharing our resources in ways that are safe, instead of hoarding just for ourselves.
Thinking of and acting with compassion not only cares for others, it actually releases endorphins and oxytocin in our brains. Endorphins and oxytocin make us feel good and make it much more difficult to feel afraid. There is an expansiveness that comes from practicing compassion that counteracts the clenching of anxiety.
It may not feel like enough to wash your hands, stay home, donate to your local food pantry, and be thoughtful about others in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Yet, remembering that doing these things is actively working toward well-being in the world, noticing and tracking the ways in which we are engaging and being proactive, even in the little things, can help us feel more empowered in the midst of fear.
Another wonderful practice to extend compassion is the Metta or Loving-Kindness Meditation from the Buddhist tradition. We start by sending loving-kindness to ourselves, then to those closest to us, then to those harder to love, and finally to all beings, using the following phrases (or some variation):
May I/you/we/all beings be happy and safe.
May I/you/we/all beings be well in body and in mind.
May I/you/we/all beings live with ease.
May I/you/we/all beings be filled with loving-kindness.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
7. Live in the moment and trust your future self to figure out what may come next.
Now that reality is beginning to set in that the coronavirus crisis will not be over quickly, is hard not to find ourselves worrying about how we will survive months of social distancing. We are in uncharted territory, without precedent of how to survive emotionally, financially, how to educate our kids, do our jobs, survive this kind of isolation and distancing. And the situation continues to evolve. While we carry the emotional burden of worrying for the future, how do we let go of fear and overwhelm to tend to what we need to do today, this week? How can we release the fear of the future to focus on today?
Rather than needing to think through and anticipate every possible outcome of this pandemic, we can trust our future selves to have the wisdom and resources we will need to solve whatever problems arise. One way I like to visualize this is by imagining passing a relay race baton to our future selves. That future version of us will have all the knowledge and skills we have now, plus some gained in the unknown future, to handle whatever crisis arises. We really can trust that. And then come back to the present moment.
8. Practice mindfulness to help you be here, now.
Mindfulness is a buzzword these days, but essentially, it boils down to paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, without judgment. We access this attention to the present through our body, often our breath, which is always and only ever in the present. Our mind ping-pongs between the past and the future, but our breath is only ever this moment. I’ve written about mindfulness in the past, and I welcome you to read this or to find other resources to find a practice to help you land in this moment. (I like the Insight Timer or Headspace apps for guided mindfulness). Mindfulness doesn’t necessarily make us calm; often, when we bring our awareness to the present moment, we become aware of even more turmoil. But the awareness of the moment can support us in holding space for all our thoughts, feelings, sensations, even the hard ones. Which in the long run, helps us to notice our anxiety, be curious about it, and allow it to pass, just like all other emotions do.
When we practice mindfulness and ground ourselves in the present moment, we often find that, while we may still be unsure of how we will survive a month from now, we can really trust that we do have enough resilience, resources, wisdom to act and survive in this moment. Let’s live that, enough for each day, together.
9. Take care of your body.
This is not a trite offering. Being intentional about caring for ourselves, especially when we are physically vulnerable to illness, and even more so when our normal routines have been completely shattered by protective measures for social distancing, can be a life-saver. Sleep, diet, exercise, these things matter and all impact our levels of anxiety.
Some studies indicate that getting enough sleep has an incredible impact on our immune systems and can be a protective factor against illness. Same goes for eating a healthy, balanced diet so that our bodies have enough of the nutrients they need. Getting outside, exposing our bodies to light and fresh air, and moving our bodies through exercise of some kind, these things also bolster our immune systems and our mental health. Doing so in a safe way (maintaining a six-foot distance from non-family members is recommended by some doctors) can be key to supporting our mental health during this time.
10. Breathe in a way that reduces your body’s fear response.
Find a posture in your body to support you in releasing anxiety. Do a scan of your body, starting in your feet, moving up all the way to the top of your head. Notice sensations. If there are places that feel tight or clenched, be curious if you can release them. (Just while writing this sentence, I found I needed to release my shoulders away from my ears and unclench my jaw.) And then see if you can locate your breath. If you find it up in your chest or even towards your throat, be curious if you can move your breath into your belly. If this is new for you, it will feel strange. I often practice belly breathing while laying down, sometimes even putting a hand or another object on the belly to more easily see when the breath is low enough to make the belly rise and fall.
Next, see if you can lengthen your exhale. There is amazing research about how making our out breath twice as long as our in breath can activate our parasympathetic nervous system, the part of our body that calms the fear response. See if you can inhale for four seconds, then exhale for eight. If that’s too long, make it two and four seconds. Or purse your lips like you have a straw in your mouth and blow out through pursed lips to release your exhale. Do this for ten or twenty breaths and then pause and notice your body. Does it feel different?
Undergirding all these practices, find ways to treat yourself with deep self-compassion. There is no precedent, no “right way” to live through a pandemic. We will all persevere imperfectly in this time, doing the best we can with what we have. We will make choices, with limited information, that we may later wish we had made differently. We will give our children far more screen time than we think we should, be impatient with those we love the most, be less productive in our work; and then we will have dance parties and hugs and find moments of precious connection and deep soul conversations. We will find ourselves feeling selfish, and then deeply compassionate and kind. We will be human.
This is a moment in our history where there will be a before and an after. There has already been and will continue to be extensive loss, widespread grief and suffering. If you have lost someone or are struggling to fight for your own health and life, know our loving-kindness goes to you. Even if we haven’t lost a loved one, many of us are reeling from the grief and loss that comes from a sense of safety, routine, or certainty in the world having been shattered.
Please, reach out for support if you need it. Many therapists, myself included, will be offering tele-mental health therapy services to safely continue to care for and protect each others’ mental health during this pandemic. If you think you’d benefit from holding a space to gain additional support and inner resources, find someone in your area. Psychology Today, Open Path Collective, and your health insurance are all good resources to find a provider who would be a good fit.
In the midst of it all, finding ways to care for and quell our own fears so that we can think clearly and act wisely is not just an act that serves us; it serves the world, creating ripples of peace beyond ourselves. Care for yourselves, care for each other.
Katy Cribbs is a psychotherapist in Washington, DC, where she leads a mindfulness-based support group for new moms. She is also mom to two little ones and currently trying to find her own plan for surviving social distancing.
