The 3 Steps to Your Most Empowered Self

“I think luck falls on not just the brave but also the ones who believe they belong there.” — Novak Djokovic, winner of 12 Grand Slams.

Lizzie Alberga
Feb 21, 2018 · 7 min read
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To be brave, means to have courage. To have courage, means to have confidence. And confidence means to have belief in yourself. It’s not those who can get the laws of the universe to bend around them, it’s those who believe, deep down, in the possibility for their lives, in the ultimate possible fate for their life which seems so close and clear in their heart.

So how do you get there? To see so clearly the ultimate possibility of your life when you live in courage and not fear?

You get there by empowering your authentic self.

By getting to know who and what you are, what beliefs come from your heart, and what beliefs you inherited, were taught, or created to protect yourself from being uncomfortable. And to do that, we need a mediator. One who can hear our story, reflect back to us what we say and what we believe so we can view our own mental stories outside our heads and through someone else’s eyes.

It’s only then that you can begin to feel the difference between what is true in your heart, in your most divine expression of who you are, versus who you try to become for approval, acceptance and love. You get distance from the stories and they become less powerful, so the weight over your heart can be lifted and you can begin to let out the truth it has to tell.

And, we are so scared of our best selves. It’s like, why even dig deeper, we aren’t even sure if we’ll actually follow the directive of what we discover.

It’s overwhelming. It’s work. It’s memories and fears… revisited. So, we turn away, close the browser and never start. We continue on, as is, living in a fog telling ourselves we’re found.

And whatever you decide, you will live that fate. You will live the fate you believe belongs to you.

If you decide to open the box, lift the weight, do the digging, you’ll find a whole new world opens up. You’ll find joy, light, hope, peace, aspiration and inspiration to become your best self. You’ll get a glimpse behind the curtain to the ultimate possibility of your life.

It feels so good to live in truth. To feel at home in who and what you are. To arrive at a deep knowing of your authentic self and why you’re here — your service in this lifetime — and when you follow this, to inspire others to do the same.

You begin to change the world as we know it. You step into something bigger, something meant to be, and you unlock the keys to your ultimate potential… and all of humanity’s.

A switch is flipped. The journey to your best life begins, and the tape on repeat finally stops. All energy forcing that tape to play over and over, to hide what your heart knew, now goes toward your growth, your expansion and your arrival as your authentic self.

Nothing is easy. This isn’t either. But it’s so fucking freeing. You show up in the world feeling grounded and bound to your future by your truth. It’s like any struggle comes with a promise for better. Whereas the struggle when you’re just stuck in your small self ends in more small-self living.

One bad day, one bad week, doesn’t sway you. You know it is part of the journey, and you know what lies on the other side.

I’ve found a simple way to start down the path, and there are three steps. I call it The Empowerment Formula. And it isn’t complex. And I’ve come to believe that if you can simply say yes to starting, to the possibility that’s on the other end, then you can absolutely change your life for the better. No matter what life situation you are in now.

And the best part, following this formula gives you clarity in everything you do and helps you course-correct with conviction. Yes! You can finally take Mom off speed-dial. We’ve got you.

Now, I despise any sort of quick-fix promise. This isn’t that. This is a promise of simplicity. What it takes to live with clarity, purpose and fulfillment isn’t complicated, but getting to the yes — and then getting to the heart of what is deep-down you — sometimes can be. And, in my opinion, it’s not a journey to be taken alone. It’s one that requires some outside eyes to reflect that which we don’t see. Coaches being the best partner, an unbiased third party, trained to guide you through the process gently and not let any shortcuts compromise the truth-finding experience.

So here it is, the three-part formula for living your best life:

  • Deeply know who you are: Core Values
  • Understand why you’re here: Mission and Purpose
  • Become self-aware of what’s holding you back: Find a Way Through Your Shit

Ta-da! That’s it. No, really, once you know what you need in your life to feel happy and fulfilled (core values) and get a deeper sense of what you want to create with your life (your mission and purpose for being), a plan, a vision, an outlook forms in your head. Your world begins to open up to what your life can be… and then when the doubt, fear, and disbelief start to fog your best-life vision — and for some of us this happens in seconds so we barely get to bask in the glory that is our ideal life vision — you work on the limiting beliefs, the why not, or why me? It’s like the moment you get to see your dream in front of you, your fearful self kicks in the fog, so you keep your eyes behind the curtain. And that’s when the coach is at their best, when they remind you of what you believe as your authentic, truthful self. They help you empower yourself through reflection, juxtaposition, mirroring. And soon enough, you’ll begin doing it for yourself. You’ll learn how to be your own coach — the greatest gift you can give yourself is the lifelong mental framework taught by a great coach.

But often the hardest part is becoming the person who believes you deserve it. The part when you must find a way through the shit that holds you back. It doesn’t go away, but what you can do, within weeks, is identify a way THROUGH it. As Collective Gain coach Kim Rowe says, “All we need to get through a great big pile of limiting-belief shit is one little door, one belief that we can hold on to that will carry us through to the other side.”

And then, when you find your way through, when you disembark from your own limiting self and step into your “I got this and ain’t no one gonna stop me now” self, you have something to hold on to. You have the lifeline that leads you out the cave: 1) the reassurance that there is a way out, 2) a map to where you’re headed and 3) the confidence in knowing that that line will lead you there, period, you just need to follow it.

Okay, so now what. You get it. You want to give it a go… Here comes the call to action. Why? Because our mission is to help people become their best self, and to do that, requires their participation.

At Collective Gain you can work 1:1 with a coach in your own 12-week intensive program that starts with who you are and ends with why you’re here… it’s the best way to uncover your truth. And it’s how I originally did it — to find my own truth. Go here to get matched with the right coach for you. We offer flat-rate introductory pricing to get you started.

Those located in or near Los Angeles (and those who can travel here) can join us for a one-day intensive workshop. On March 18, I will be hosting a one-day #LIVEYOURTRUTH Empowerment Event where you can experience the awakening of your own truth. We will do work on core values, mission/purpose and shifting your shit to find your doorway through. You will also get 1:1 and group support with some of LA’s most referred coaches — meet them, pick their brains.

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Just don’t try this all on your own. Just like you can’t see your own ass, you can’t see all the shit and limiting beliefs that are keeping your dream far, far off… your lifeline buried. Begin with human-to-human support — it doesn’t feel intense, it feels liberating. To be heard, to see and discover together, what truth lies within. Coaches have the best jobs.

And if you want to still be an observer, that’s ok too. You can get content, tips and first access to events via our email newsletter or follow me here for the occasional Collective Gain company update.

It feels so good to deeply know who you are and to believe in the realization of your best self. It’s not something to be feared, it’s something to be embraced. And we’re here to help you, now, or when you’re ready.

Interested in having Lizzie speak to your team or at your company or conference?


If you’ve enjoyed this story, you’ll likely love my soul-inspired articles around how to find your way. Stay updated with my latest adventures and aha moments in the world of self-improvement and follow Collective Gain to join a community of people searching for better.

Thrive Global

More than living. Thriving.

Lizzie Alberga

Written by

A wife, mom to three, former corporate exec turned spirit & soul entrepreneur => Founder of Collective Gain: LIVE YOUR TRUTH.

Thrive Global

More than living. Thriving.

Lizzie Alberga

Written by

A wife, mom to three, former corporate exec turned spirit & soul entrepreneur => Founder of Collective Gain: LIVE YOUR TRUTH.

Thrive Global

More than living. Thriving.

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