My Biggest Aha Moment Yet

A woman in the process of expanding her life wakes up to what keeps holding her back.

Everything was going great. My first couple of months after I quit my job, I had not just one client, I had several. I was making more than I’d been full time and enjoying more flexibility. (I wish I could say I was working less and making more, but that hasn’t been the case … yet.) I was incredibly grateful.

Yet I’d begun feeling frustrated and anxious over how I was spending my time. Although I had plenty of commitments and client deliverables to keep me busy, I felt a strong pull from within to begin working on my own business. I was getting excited and could feel my passion start to align with opportunity.

But while my internal momentum began to build, I continued doing all the same stuff I’d been doing, putting everything else first. Work deadlines, house projects, the kids, my husband, our dog, the neighbors…. You name it — they beckoned, I came running.

I was drained, discouraged and empty at the end of the day. I became angry. I could feel the precious moment for my new idea to blossom passing me by.

I stopped taking my morning walks and started indulging in chocolate lunches. I was spending hours scrolling through Instagram. As soon as I got home, all I wanted to do was zone out and watch TV. I was disengaged in this new life that I was creating.

The shackles of obligation were strangling my spirit. And I was letting them.

Did I not have a say in how I was spending my time? Why wasn’t I focusing on putting my energy where I wanted?

It all came down to respect. I wasn’t respecting my own dreams.

Why was I letting this happen? Why did I keep choosing to put others first?


Well, for starters:

  • My ego was trying to protect me from anything that might challenge it (like failure)
  • My limiting belief was telling me someone else has to pay me, I could not make money on my own
  • My fear of not being good enough was saying I had to seek validation externally and attend to others to get approval and praise

Okay, hello! Enough of that.

Courtesy of Unsplash

All I needed to say was “no more!” … and decide what to say YES to so I could live my truth and serve my mission:

  • YES to dedicating time and effort to my own vision (@collectivegain)
  • YES to doing things that bring me energy: exercise, spending time with my kids, self-care and friends
  • YES to doing what feels right

To say YES to these things, there were plenty of others that I needed to say NO to. Like working unlimited hours for other people, checking email incessantly, endlessly scrolling through social media — and being available all the time for everyone except myself.

The cost of which would be my life, my soul, my happiness … and my dreams! Literally.

(Hey, if you don’t believe me, ask Oprah.)


What behavior or limiting belief is sabotaging your own dreams? What is getting in the way of taking a step today to explore and just see what it feels like to give some time and attention to what you want to experience?

There is no reason you can’t make the life you want come true too. The path that fulfills is the path you build. YOU build.Your job is to find out who the YOU is so you can ask for and create the life that feels like home, that fits just right, that fully satisfies you so you don’t feel the need to stuff pounds of chocolate down your throat (or whatever other not-so-healthy coping mechanism you might have come up with to deal with your own personal nagging feeling of emptiness).

What do you feel like doing but find yourself constantly resisting? Start there. The point of resistance is often the location of our highest desires and the path to uncover our most authentic selves.

Respect your own dreams, desires and ideas. They deserve your time and attention. Open the door of possibility to better — and see what walks in.

Have faith and trust that if you follow what feels right you’ll end up in a place that feels exactly right.

#actuallyican

If you’ve enjoyed this story, you’ll likely love my upcoming series centered around how to find your way. Stay updated with my latest articles and visit Collective Gain to join a community of people searching for better.