The Foundation of True Self-Care Is Self-Compassion
We sometimes use “self-care” as a proxy for “self-compassion,” but they’re actually very different concepts.
Self-compassion permeates our work here. It’s not some special icing on the flourishing cake we’re cooking — it’s an essential ingredient. While you may be able to succeed without self-compassion for a while, you won’t thrive. At some point, the harm, suffering, pain, or neglect you put yourself through will catch up with you. The bill always comes due.
We sometimes use “self-care” as a proxy for “self-compassion.” But they’re actually different concepts. Self-compassion is regarding yourself compassionately. Self-care, by contrast, is treating yourself compassionately. The two terms sound interchangeable, but they contain a thinking versus doing distinction.
This is important because people can go through the motions of self-care without having self-compassion. Similarly, they can view themselves compassionately and still not take care of themselves. The two concepts, though, need to work together. Self-care without self-compassion discharges a debt, usually with suffering somewhere else. Self-care with self-compassion is a gift that doesn’t have to be earned or repaid.
