The Most Important Decision You Need to Make in Order to Create Change

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Do you want to know the most important decision you can make that will allow you to make a personal change, manifest something new, and truly move forward in your own spiritual evolution?

It’s willingness.

Being willing to change is way more complex than most of us think it is. And it’s where so many people get stuck. There’s this edge between being willing or not, where self-sabotage and resistance dwells; it’s also where spiritual bypassing lives.

Spiritual bypassing may be an uncomfortable phrase for you. But it’s so common in the “new age” community. And there is a lot of information floating out there that people interpret as “just think happy, high vibrational thoughts and all will be well.”

To me, thinking high vibe thoughts is only part of the story. If you’re not willing to sit with what feels low, that’s spiritual bypassing.

Now, I know that not everyone out there is working through major — huge — life changes. There may not be a huge discrepancy between where you are now and where you want to get to. You might not have to transform yourself a whole lot to manifest whatever it is that you’re up to so that high vibe thought is enough to pull you there. There’s not much for you to go looking for in the shadow, to work through.

But I’ve seen some folks on social media talk about their process and I’ve wondered, “Is this person not paying attention to what’s really going on deep within?”

A case in point.

Last year we had a full solar eclipse. It was a huge deal. It was propelling people into various levels of growth. The energy was palpable. I remember posting about this and talking about how it was asking us to change; to be willing to let a part of us go and step through a doorway into something new.

That’s big. That’s intense. There’s work in that.

Most of the people I was talking to about this were reflective. They could feel the shift… the renting of their energy. They were working it. They’re still working on it. Geeze, it was probably that which has pushed so many people now to truly look at their lives and want to claim new, more aligned work in the world.

But I also saw a lot of crazy stuff back then.

I remember being particularly struck by a comment from a post about the deep transformation happening that said, “Yes! Change… I’m in. I’m running through this doorway with open arms. Woo hoo, yeah!”

Don’t get me wrong. I am all for the excitement of change. It gets us through the harder aspects of it.

But in the moments when the Universe opens us all up to change, sometimes people will think it’s a given that it will change them. “Hey, there’s an eclipse… it’s going to open us up… woo hoo!”


Change doesn’t happen without us being fully willing to feel into what is lurking in the shadow.

What’s missing?

I think there is a level of consciousness that is missing sometimes with these big energy-changing events because nobody I know runs toward their big, massive, life-changing growth without questioning why they can’t just stay curled up on the couch watching Netflix for the rest of their life.

Seriously. If you aren’t thinking about whether you are really willing to grow as you are being asked, then you aren’t working big enough.

Now, none of this is to say those of us questioning if we can do this — or want to do this — would ever consider not doing it. But questioning our own willingness is good; really good. It means we are aware of how friggin’ big we are stretching ourselves. We’re being conscious of what is real.

And right now, things are real.

Things around us are changing us faster than we can imagine. If you’re not reacting to some greater energetic directive to change, then what you’re seeing in the world around you may be the catalyst to live a more aligned life. We’re circling back into ourselves over and over again and we have to look at where we drop into the lower-vibe aspects of our lives.

We have to be honest with what is, and be willing to do the work.

So here’s my question to you: Can you feel any part of you gripping the door frame that you are being asked to step through right now?

Because you are being asked.

It’s OK to say yes. Many of us are grappling with certain aspects of our transformation right now. Just don’t get stuck there.

How to keep moving on through.

When you feel the fear, doubt, and resistance… lean into it.

It’s ok to go into the lower vibe stuff. You won’t get stuck there. To move on, you must move through. You have to be willing though to sit in what feels not so yummy, to observe it.

Just because what instigated your change has ended, that doesn’t mean your process is done.

This might not be the most popular statement right now, but honey, your aha-moments are just the beginning. That big shift in energy is just the start of your transformation. Things are just warming up!

Relax into the process; there’s no rush or timelines. Work it through. The greater the resistance, the bigger the growth.

Are you willing?

Most of us don’t go around saying to ourselves, “I’m unwilling to do ______.” We want change, and our minds will trick us into thinking we’re creating that, even when we are unwilling at a deep level.

Our heads will say, “Of course I want this…” Our energy, though, will be running for the hills. Our body consciousness will be throwing up the walls to avoid change because even the little stuff can feel like a loss.

I know because I’ve been there. And I see it every day when clients go looking to step up into something bigger and fight it.

Here’s my trick. If you ask yourself, “Am I willing,” and you answer without really thinking if there’s a part of you that isn’t… you may have some work to do.

Spirit has a plan here; you came here to do something. It’s time to do it.

Originally published at on January 24, 2018.