The Problem Is Never Really The Problem

Allison Sara Reiner
Thrive Global
Published in
3 min readJun 15, 2017

These last couple of weeks I have been having visions and ideas about where I want to go and who I want to work with.

I realise relationships were a kind of safe ground — but the transformation my coaching offers is so much more than keeping the guy. My story and my why comes out of my own realization that I was off loading responsibility for my life to the things outside of me never necessarily people — but things.

I hid my emotions and my feelings at the bottom of wine glasses and when I gave up wine it was in cigarettes and when I gave up cigarettes and I had to truly feel what was going on inside of me it was horrific, a life time of hurt, anger and resentment that could no longer be held inside because I didn’t have a crutch any more.

When the volcano of emotions erupted it seemed like it would never stop — but when it did and then I could see the damage hiding and playing small brought me, being beholden to other people and being too frightened to live my life for fear of upsetting them,

When I reached this understanding and I began taking responsibility for myself yes my marriage was saved and is more wonderful and loving than I could ever have imagined; but then so is my relationship with my kids, my ability to create and maintain healthy friendships and relationships on all levels.

I love myself, I respect my self.

My life is so dramatically different on the inside, though if you saw me from a distance nothing absolutely nothing has changed — but everything has changed. I am so different and I can never go back to that place again. I know my worth and I know it is worth the discomfort of getting there.

I teach my kids this, my husband has evolved, my girls friends and I stay up drinking coffee into the wee small hours talking about how to live in the moment, be the best we can be and live truly happy lives.

This is what I want to offer people.

In my free time I work with addicts and the families of addicts and the powerlessness of not accepting your life and yourself breaks my heart — these are extreme versions but this is what I come up against every day. People not wanting to face their truth because then they have to take responsibility.

So actually I have no idea what to do next with this but I do know that the coaching process is amazing for opening your eyes to the possibilities that life offers. This feels like it has been brewing for ever, one of my biggest fears was to be judged but my WHY isn’t that I kept my man, that is a beautiful bi-product of my willingness to go deep within myself.

It is because I came alive and I want that for you too, one of the best things I’ve ever herd from a client was that she knew I believed in her, when she could believe in herself and that was enough to push her out of her comfort zone to face her fears and to begin the journey of self belief. That same woman is now my partner in a brand new venture.

If you have a feeling I am talking to you, reply now, and let’s talk. You deserve it, and my soul deserves to have honour to help you too…

You can reach me by email at allison@allisonreiner.com, check out my website allisonreiner.com or come over and join my Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/LovedAgainAndForever/

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