The real reason you’re still in that ‘dead end job’
Another day and another chance to sit at my desk looking out the window wondering what it would be like to feel inspired. To have the desire to get up in the morning knowing that you have something to look forward to at work and know that you make a difference to the world.
It’s like ground hog day — get up, go to work, drive through the tasks of the day, go home, get up, go to work, drive through the tasks of the day, go home…
My energy levels are low, I just exist and my co-worker who comes in every morning saps the remaining life I have in me within the first hour with their take that he’s not sure why he works here or what it offers him. And so it continues. Day, after day, after day.
Or does it? You see that’s how I used to be, that’s how I used to feel until I realised this most amazing concept. I had a choice. A choice to be and do everything I wanted to be. It sounds so dynamic yet so attainable to.
How often in life do we become complacent with what we are doing, the behaviours we display and the actions we take.
We can become so complacent that we accept them and just continue rather than taking a few moments out every now and then to question — is this really serving me? Does it make me feel fulfilled? Feel happy? Feel alive???
Take a moment now — what’s your take in life? Do you awake in the morning with zest and vitality? Or do you wake up and automatically channel negativity or self-doubt? What is it you value in life and are you honouring this?
Perhaps you are the ‘mood hoover’ at work — who walks into the office and drains the energy with negative speak or actions. Are you the one who allows gremlins to live rent free in your head — determining how you should behave, repeating limiting beliefs and spinning a negative focus on everything you do?
Well here’s the thing… if you’re questioning why you’re sitting there day to day feeling bored, uninspired or demotivated the only person who can change that is you. It’s time to look in the mirror and recognise who you are and what you portraying inside and out.
You can either choose to stand still and stay as you are or shake yourself down connect with the present and ask yourself what do you really want, plan it and go out there and get it.
I don’t know where to start? I’ve felt like this for so long I can’t imagine feeling any different….well you can and below are 3 techniques to get you started.
1) Check in with your values
Our values are a central part of who we are and how we want to live our life. By becoming more aware of them, they can guide us to ensure we stay true to ourselves when making decisions.
When we honour our values we feel fulfilled and ‘on purpose’. When we ‘step on’ our values we can feel despondent and demotivated.
How to identify them?
Many people naturally know what values they live by. A good way of capturing these is to make a list of what you stand for. If you are struggling to identify your values, you may find it easier to write down what frustrates you, as ultimately a value being stepped on can make you feel like this.
How to be aligned with your values
Checking in with your values provides a platform to reflect on whether you are living life on purpose. For example if you have a value of health and are working 70-hour weeks with no relaxation time — are you really living by your value? If a value is self-development and you are stuck in the same job role which is routine and provides no growth — are you really satisfied it aligns with your value?
How to check in with them?
Values may not be visible, but the effects and impacts on the individuals are. If the values are being upheld you may feel more confident, happier and fulfilled — your body language will be positive and you will strive to live a life of opportunity. Those who are not aligned with their values can seem withdrawn, frustrated (but not necessarily know why) and seem more negative or despondent. As we gain clarity about our values, they serve as guideposts and can help inform our choices in life, work and home.
Having written down your values now ask yourself:
a) Do the values you live by support your life purpose?
b) Would you be comfortable to share your values with others in a conversation?
c) What values are you honouring and how do you know this?
d) Where are you holding back on your values?
e) What are the obstacles that prevent you from truly honouring your values?
f) What action do you need to take in response to reviewing your values?
2) Check in with your mindset
Take some time to connect with what’s really going on for you. By naming the emotion you are in when it comes to your job it will help you process what’s going on so that you can move forward. Perhaps you are frustrated — could this be because you’re not utilising your full potential? Are you feeling held back or perhaps want to develop your skills but not sure how to. Maybe you’re not feeling valued — acknowledgment can go such a long way can’t it?
Could it be self-doubt?
You’ve known for a while you want to change your job or career but it seems outside your reach. It’s amazing how self-doubt can have such a hold on us isn’t it? It makes us feel low or worthless, like we’re under achieving and just stuck. Unsure of where to go next, what decision to make — will it be for the best? Your body feels tense, tired, headachey and fragile. It’s almost like we’re a lesser version of our former selves. I’ve been there I really have and it’s gruelling.
With over 60.000 thoughts a day the more we connect with a positive mindset the more we strengthen the pathways to our brains which deal with perspective. Research also suggests that having a more positive mindset supports both physical and mental wellbeing. What would it be like to appreciate what you have already? Practicing gratitude and reminding yourself what you’re grateful for and also what you’ve already achieved in life that you may have forgotten. It will give you a chance to focus on something positive.
Space also brings new opportunities
What would it be like to give yourself permission to take 5 minutes out each day to just refocus and realise the opportunities that are available to you. Perhaps opportunities you may have missed or dismissed without time to notice them. How rare and precious is that? What could you gain from space each day? What decisions do you need to make but are putting off because you just don’t really have head space or quiet to really think them through?
Consider this — how are you sabotaging yourself by staying as you are? What are you saying no to in your life by just standing still? So let me break it to you -no one is going to know on your front door offering you that dream job, no one can make you feel different but you. You are the maker of your own life — so isn’t it time you took charge?
3) Write down what you want and take action
When did you last take a piece of paper and map out what you want to achieve. Writing down our intentions can help provide us with focus and clarity. It also helps you move the monologue from your head onto paper and make it seem more real. Once it’s on paper you have something to check in with too.
To start with you may find it easier to just mind map — be creative — write words, draw pictures anything that helps you capture what it is you really want — be as imaginative as you can — think big!
Once you have done this you may want to link it back to your values before succinctly writing down what you want to achieve and when — it’s important to put timelines on these otherwise it could just slip back into the ether of life. A goal is a dream with a deadline.
So what will you do next as a result of reading this blog today? Remember it’s about action not just thinking about it — after all if you want something you can’t just wish for it — you’ve got to make it happen.
As for me, I am the maker of my own life, the conductor of my own orchestra and the amazing music that shall continue to play as I dance in my own magnificence of authenticity. For I am real, with my feet firmly grounded knowing I stand tall honouring my values and following my true life purpose.
You see I know that my lifestyle and the perspective of being positive doesn’t suit everyone but that’s up to them. That’s their choice and this is mine. I choose to be happy, for it to be a way of life not a destination. I choose to be thankful for the air that I breathe, the loving people I am surrounded by, the roof over my head and the food that I eat. I choose to be everything I am and do in life. How about you?