The Value of a Healthy Inner Life

How bravery and love bring healing.

When I completed the Tribe Writers course I found myself doing a lot of introspection. I needed to determine what now? I looked back over my journey and my writing and had these questions.

Am I applying what I’ve learned? Am I being clear? Am I providing value? Why should anyone read what I write?

I write about the inner life. I believe it’s the most valuable part of our lives. I believe everyone should have a healthy inner life.

I had a very unhealthy one before and it wasn’t a good thing.

What IS this thing called the inner life?

It’s what goes on inside us. Where we don’t see with our eyeballs. Where we don’t always pay attention.

It’s our thoughts, feelings, memories, decisions, hopes, dreams, hurts, opinions, attitudes, sense of purpose and value, etc.

It’s where we get hung up and have problems. It’s the part we tend to hide.

It’s where fear and shame seek to build a home.

It’s messy.

Many avoid dealing with the inner life for that very reason. It takes courage to deal with our inner mess.

Why should YOU value your inner life?

Because everything, and I mean everything, in our outer lives flow out of our inner life.

Life itself is messy whether we choose to deal with our inner life or not. Dealing with our inner life doesn’t make everything perfect but it does empower us.

Dealing with our inner life doesn’t make everything perfect but it does empower us. Click To Tweet

Thoughts are unruly. Emotions are messy. But that doesn’t make them bad.

I’m still making peace with that myself. I’ve made a lot of progress in my journey, but I’m still learning.

I understand information but that doesn’t automatically translate into action. I do dumb things. I get upset at myself.

This is where a healthy dose of self-compassion is needed. Self-compassion is part of a healthy inner life.

Self-compassion is part of a healthy inner life. Click To Tweet

Is your inner life messy?

In my writing, when I get on a roll my words aren’t always pretty, grammatically correct, or even make sense. It’s messy.

I edit a lot because I was raised to be nice and proper and polite and learned King James Version Christianity.

But inside me? It’s not always nice or proper or polite or King Jimmy. My inner life is messy.

I have a strong faith but it’s not neat and organized. It’s messy.

I have questions without answers.

But that no longer scares me. His perfect love has gotten rid of that fear.

I finally got it through my stubborn fat head and broken traumatized heart God is not angered by our questions but finds joy in our curiosity. His Love healed me.

I’ve come through so many things in my life and grown tremendously. The more I learn, the more questions I have.

I love this quote I found.

Questions are the tools of the explorer; they are the treasure maps and flashlights of the heart hunter. By them we find the trails and tunnels into the inner life of another human heart. — Sam Williamson

I write about the inner life because healing mine changed my life.

I don’t want to come across like some know it all guru trying to fix you.

I can’t fix you.

I can’t fix me.

What I can do is love you, because I have learned how to love me.

And you know how I learned to love myself?

I finally came to believe that I am loved, deeply loved in spite of my inner mess. It took me a horridly long time. Years.

I can save you time by sharing what I’ve learned.

We’re all messy inside. But we are loved — mess and all.

That messy inner life? It fuels our outer life.

And the grace of the loving God I know (aka The Pursuer) is more than enough to love us into wholeness.

When our inner life is not valued, ugly things happen.

But if we’ll love our self enough to care about our inner life — we can become like a watered garden.

Even the best of gardens need constant tending. Likewise, our inner life needs constant tending also.

So that is what I write about. The messy inner life. It’s not superficial, it goes deep.

That is where I live — in the deep.

“Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much. But you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.” ― Tori Amos

Are you brave enough to look inside you? You’re not alone.

I’ll hold your rope so you don’t fall in that dark scary abyss of what you don’t know.

#TraumaIsPersonal #HealingHappensTogether #DontForgetToLaugh

Did this resonate with you?

Danielle Bernock is a the author of Emerging With Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, And The LOVE that Heals. Follow her on Twitter at @dbernock

Originally published at on May 16, 2017.