Throw Out the Rules and Live!

Listen, Trust and Do

Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash

Growing up, I was raised in a conservative Christian family. There were rules about what you could wear, what you could watch, where you could go and so on. I never really minded the rules. I was a rule follower. I liked the structure, the clear boundaries and knowing what was expected of me.

I remember times where I would get into an argument with other kids because they weren’t following the rules. I thought that everyone should be following the same set of rules that were set out by my mother. As it happens they weren’t. Not everyone had the same rules as me.

I was a bit astounded and I remember thinking, how can they live like that! Don’t they know that it is wrong!?!

As I grew older, I found that the world wasn’t following many, if any at all, of the rules my mother set. Even other Christian families had a different set of rules than we did. However, the thing I noted was that there were still rules.

I never embraced outright acts of rebellion like other teenagers around me. I simply followed the rules. And guess what, that followed me into adulthood. I found that I looked all around me to find “the rules”. They were safe. They made me feel clear about the path. And they for sure made it easy for me to know what to do and how to do it.

I think even choosing my profession as an accountant; I chose a path that was full of rules. There are ethical rules to follow, there are numeric formulas and there is the BIG one of “you must balance every account to the penny”! I embraced them all!

I even looked for the “rules” of dating. I didn’t understand these rules at all, but I sure did my best to follow them. You know the ones like, “don’t call him until he calls you”. Or, “a hug on the first date is acceptable, anything else…..not so much”. Following all those rules, didn’t server me well in the dating world. But by gosh, I still did my best to plug along and follow them!

As I’ve gotten farther into my entrepreneurial journey, I’ve learned that there are no hard and fast rules. Yowza, for a rule follower this has been a big one to grasp. But the truth of the matter is that we are all adults here. We all get to decide how we want to live our life and we get to decide what works and doesn’t work for us.

There is a truth that I’ve recently been learning that has totally changed how I think about rules. What if we throw out all the rules and start trusting ourselves to make the right decision, to say the right thing and to know what we need?

Can we trust ourselves? Do we all know what to say and when to say it? Is there an innate internal radar that guides us?

As a wellness coach, I have to give a resounding YES to that. In my world, our bodies know and tell us when they are hungry. It knows and tells us when it needs rest. It knows and tells us when it needs water. All we have to do is listen and trust and do.

If I can wrap my head around that, then why would it be so farfetched to believe that I also have an inner sense of what I need to do with my business? Or with my family? Or even with my romantic life?

It has finally hit me. That anonymous quote that we’ve all heard has had it right all along! “You have all the answers inside you. The more you trust yourself, the easier your life will flow.” Yes! This!

I have been recently practicing listening to my internal guide and I’m finding that it is definitely steering me in the right direction. Here are a few examples:

Work — I was presented with an opportunity to do go back into accounting work. Rather than immediately nix the idea, I stopped and asked myself if I wanted to do it. I found that I did (because let’s face it, balancing stuff is my zone of excellence).

Life — I asked myself what I would want if I said yes to that job. I had three non-negotiables. I asked for them and got them, including increasing my PT income by 4 times! Yes! Quadrupled!

Emotion — Leaving my old PT job was difficult because it was caring for my BFF’s mother, whom I’ve come to love in her own right. My inner voice was telling me that it was time to go and the day I notified the agency they found a replacement. Prior to me starting, she went without a caregiver for several months! Wow!

All of these things are putting me closer to living the life of my dreams. I have the time to work my business. I have the freedom to travel. I have the go ahead to do my PT work from wherever I am.

None of these things would have unfolded if I hadn’t stopped and asked my internal guide to help me. And when it did, I had to trust that it was leading me right. It wasn’t taking me backwards. It wasn’t making me eat my words. It was guiding me toward exactly what I know that I want more of in my life.

Learning to stop, listen and trust. Those are the keys to allowing your innate wisdom guide you. If a confirmed, life-long, die hard rule follower can do it, so can you!

Have you been listening to your internal guide? Comment below and tell me about it.

Sherry Parks is a Wellness Coach who helps career women escape feeling trapped and out of control in their work life, so that they are happy on their own terms and have joy and excitement for their life. Grab her Free PDF, Top Tips for Successful Food Cleansing, here.

To connect with Sherry, join her women-only Facebook group Lives in Balance.