What do Wall Street, Bali and a Bad Ass have in common?
When I worked on Wall Street . . .
When I spent time in Bali . . .
I’m a bad ass, she is a bad ass, our group is bad ass . . .
Why do I (we) fall for this time and time again? Why do women insist on mentioning Wall Street, Bali and being a bad ass? And more importantly, why do they inflate the truth?
I’m so tired of not being able to trust people for what they say and do.
One of my failures, I signed up for a online class with loads of promises that it will help me find the connections I need to get to the next level — to find out I get a worksheet sent to me . . . with typos! Then when I challenge said Bali trekking, Bad Ass Wall Street Lawyer I’m told no I can’t have my money back because she has already spent it.
- The lesson I learned is to be very careful on whom I trust. It has also made me a better person at my core, which makes me a better in all areas of my life — mom, lover, writer . . .
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to trust myself.
That little voice in my head that says, just be quiet, speaking now won’t help. Conversely, I also hear the voice that says “this is BS — call it out.” Or the book on the shelf that suddenly appears, or that knot in my stomach . . . the friend calling me after 17 years.
2. I understand that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. A few years ago I woke up in someone else’s house, in someone else’s body . . . I had lost touch to such a degree my life was not recognizable to myself. Getting back to the core of me, my own truth, has been a long journey — several years now. What I can see clearly is I needed this dying and awakening. My transformation.
This understanding has seeped into every cell of my body. Now each day I live out my own principles. No trip to Bali, no worksheet required.
My life is far from glamorous and since I am called to serve, this life is not my own. That sounds like opposites doesn’t it.
Let’s go back to the top of #2: I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I work hard taking care of the people and things that I take care of, then I study and I write. I connect with people everyday as they flow through my life — I do not go out trying to find them, they find me. It is the way it works for me at this time. Remember, I’m exactly where I am supposed to be. I did feel stuck but now I see the unlimited possibilities.
3. I will never be a bad ass. Why? Even if I’m really great at what I do? The answer is simple, you and I are each part of a greater oneness consciousness. The other day on my Facebook live video I talked about how we are one but not the same. I likened it to a potluck — we all bring our own passing dish creating an amazing banquet. When we follow what someone else does — we all end up bringing brownies of one type or another.
When we follow our own inner truth — we end up bringing our soul.
When I become a famous author, it will be because of those who have walked before me as my teachers and those who walk with me in the present, also my teachers — we are all walking each other home.
I am the one typing the words, but it is our story. I am humbled each day when you trust me with your vulnerabilities. I honor you.
And please don’t forget — there are some very crappy teachers in the world teaching us lessons that we must learn. Every encounter is a “Holy Moment” when we can connect in a loving way. We have the ability to glean the best (or worst) from each situation. I have trained myself, it is part of my practice to take the best of the situation and learn the lesson.
4. Happiness, joy, bliss is not found in having more. I believe this yet I live in a weird dichotomy of having way more than what I want to have. But I don’t live in a vacuum. I live with other people. What I do know is that in this microcosm of family, I can practice living with less. I can plan my next house that will be much smaller. I can plan the location to maximize resources.
What is necessary now, will not always be so.
I can have my own practice and still live among others and honor myself and honor and respect them. Life with people isn’t like mixing colors — I can be blue, someone else can be red and we do not need to make purple. I feel that might be a misconception about marriage and families. We need to maintain a sense of self — that is what I lost along the way. I’m not sure where I got the idea that I needed to dissolve into another to be happy. I am much better full strength.
I’m sorry if you are a Bali trekking, Bad Ass Wall Street Person
Although we are walking each other home, I think maybe we should go it alone for a while and meet up a little later. This is just not our time to hang out.
I’m strong enough now to write from my heart knowing my words inspire the right person, at the right time, in the best way. I’m also strong enough to say “I don’t need your hype, your worksheets or your ego right now.”
I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
I will never be a bad ass.
I trust myself.
Our lives are full of endless potential. Let’s walk each other home!
If you love Bali, if you are a Wall Street Lawyer or think of yourself as a bad ass, please don’t be offended. I used these three terms because they come up constantly in the online marketing world.