What I Learned at 45 That Conquered My Fear and Allowed Me To Create a Thriving Life and Business
I still remember the day clearly. My friend was battling cancer and was very weak. He had just gotten off of the phone with a friend that he asked to take him fishing. After he hung up the phone he said in his whisper of a voice, “I just want to go fishing. I want to live.” As I looked at tears welling up in his wife’s beautiful eyes as we both tried to keep our composure, my life was forever changed.
I was never a life is too short kind of person. I would eagerly await Friday, wishing my days away just like millions of other people. I would pass on numerous events for whatever reason. I really had no concept of the gift of life. Until that moment.
From that point forward, the words “life is too short” have come out of my mouth frequently. I don’t have the shackles any more that were holding me back. I enjoy the time granted to me. And the irritating things in life are a little less irritating because they just don’t matter. I try to do everything I possibly can despite a pesky chronic illness. I fully grasp that tomorrow is not guaranteed.
During the same time, I was building a business and dealing with a heavy dose of fear and mindset blocks that could stall an elephant. I was constantly getting in my own way, ignoring my coach’s solid advice, and just generally doing it all wrong.
I spent months on mindset work and learning about the law of attraction. But learning and doing were two different things. When you come from a place where those things aren’t the norm, it can be a challenge to embrace and put those things into practice. The entire time I did, however, observe my own behavior and how I handled obstacles.
It was only when I uncovered what my two nemeses really were that I broke through and saw some real change. Life altering change.
Enter fear on stage right. I was exhibiting a serious dose of comparisonitis to coaches who were far more experienced than I was and I was obsessive about what other people would think of my work. That fear had me stalled, grounded, and worse yet…unable to come up with anything original. Coming from a girl who oozes creativity, a fear that crippling was a force to be reckoned with. And then it hit me. If I didn’t get past this and own the laundry list of talents I had, I would not be a success. And not being a success was not an option for me.
I got on Facebook Live again and again. My creativity returned and I put content out that attracted my idea clients. I created an actual strategy that I stuck to. Fear was no longer holding me back and I started to soar. But there was still something holding me back.
And that something was a lifelong money block. The big daddy of them all. Always having just enough or being broke. Flat broke. I discovered it twice in one week — once through a book and again through a well known coach. I knew immediately this was the thing. The thing keeping me from my greatness.
This money block is a beast. Every time I would come up with an idea, I lost my steam. Just as I was about to launch something that was a sure success, something would happen in my life to stall it or stop it. The problem was for 45 years I had no clue this was my reality. I was self-sabotaging at every turn because heaven forbid, subconsciously I knew I could really be a force to be dealt with in the online realm.
Once I knew what I was dealing with, I hit it head on. I recognized the blocks for what they were and I took a sledgehammer to them every time they crept into my head. Every time I found myself saying I couldn’t pay for something, I realized I could and I would find a way to pay for it. Action trumps sitting on your hands every single time.
In the last eight months since that day I heard the words, “I want to live,” my reality has been turned upside down.
I feel peace. The kind of peace that we ask for repeatedly in life and feel like we never get. I have it.
I have love. The love of friends that I’ve been denied for years because I wouldn’t allow it in.
I enjoy life more. When I’m tempted to do nothing, I do something. I let the sun shine on my face more. I do more things with friends. I take myself places I never would have before. I take care of myself better than I ever have.
I have a business that I swoon for. It is by far one of the best things that has every happened to me. I am surrounded by power houses and some of the most amazing women I have ever met. I love what I do. I love the people I help. And the joy that comes from making a difference is just immeasurable.
In life, you have to keep an eye out for the signs. Embrace what they are trying to tell you and grow from it. The peace and love you receive in return is worth far more than you can imagine in the wildest of your dreams.