Whatever Happened to Sitting Around the Table?
A longing for the way things used to be
It was years ago, but I still remember. I had a job to do. We all did. But somehow when company was coming, we didn’t seem to mind our chores as much. There was a reason.
Anticipation filled the air, along with the aroma of mom’s cooking. Company was coming.
And when they came, there were always a bunch of kids we would run off with. They were called cousins.
And we’d color, or play house in the basement, or just run in the backyard for the heck of it. It didn’t matter.
Laughter filled the walls.
But life has a way of changing things sometimes. And some of it doesn’t feel very good.
Change
One day in November, our mom became sick. Two days later, we stood beside her copper-colored casket. And whether you know it or not, when a mom dies, so does the family.
Oh, we were still there, in part. Going through the motions. Our house felt more like a hotel, than a home. But besides the fact that we lost someone who we depended on, someone we loved who loved us back, everything changed.
No longer were we sitting around the dining room table. There was no need to. So dad sold it.
We started going in different directions. And eight years later, we stood beside another coffin. This time it was dad’s.
An invitation
Right about that time, I was invited for dinner at someone’s house. It was a lady who taught a Bible study I had recently started attending.
Lois made a delicious meal whose aroma filled the kitchen. And they all sat around the table.
It felt bittersweet. Familiar, but painful. I remembered sitting around our table when company came. Except now I was the company. But I wasn’t the only one. Lois was good at inviting others so no one felt left out.
In a few years, I married and we had our own table. And as a newly married couple we shared many a meal together and still do. And we’ve even invited others to sit around our table.
Tables are meant for celebrations
A graduation party for my husband, holidays, birthdays. It always felt good with people around the table.
The more people the better.
There were no phones to turn off. If our telephone which was attached to the wall rang, we let it ring. We were at the table.
A place to belong
And I was lucky. I got to keep going to Lois’ house to sit around their table. After people were done eating, they’d still sit there, filling thirsty coffee cups. They’d have vanilla ice cream in a bowl. Laughing, talking, not needing to go anywhere, not wanting to leave.
And there were times when we cleared off the table for another important task. Playing a game.
We all sat with cards in our hands, looking around at each other, feeling about as comfortable as a person could feel. Like we mattered, like we belonged.
Our table
Last week, we got together with our grown children, and their children around our table. Little people who call me Grandma. And after eating a good meal we collaborated on, we cleared the table and do you know what we did?
We sat around with cards in our hands, playing a game. And it dawned on me. I’m so lucky to have a table.
A place to sit around with people I love. A place to set and clear off. A place where spills can happen and it’s okay.
That day they came over, I was young again, almost running to the window to see if our company was there yet.
Tables are meant to be used
Not for piling things on, but for sitting around.
One rule was always important. If company was over, the TV was off. Because company mattered.
I’ve slipped away from my roots a little.
We sometimes ignore the table, as if it’s not there. Instead, we eat in front of the TV. But the problem is, we’re not letting the table be what it was meant to be. A gathering place.
But little by little, I am realizing what we’re missing. And there’s still time.
I’m so glad I have a table.
Life is hard. I write words to make it softer.
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