When You Don’t Have It All Together

Not having it all together can be a blessing.

Wanda Krause, PhD
Jan 31, 2017 · 2 min read

Isn’t it something to be perceived as having it all together all the time? I would be called “Super Mom”. To the degree I arrogantly believed I was that. The evidence was there — kids in clean clothes, brushed hair, AND work, lots of extra work, done to perfection, plus make-up on.

But as the Universe would have it, the perfection was gone in one poof to reveal what really lay beneath. Story for another time.

Really, nobody has it totally together. At times more so than others, where things — life — is unmanageable. Breathe. In that realization is gold.

I have since learned the art of balance. Yes, there is one — more or less.

But in not having it all together at times is birthed freedom and excitement — to live! To live in the moment, to be present to life, to people, people’s needs, your needs, and witness life as it unfolds in wonder, even in wild unpredictability.

And when that happens, here’s the key: let go of expectation of perfection and having it all together.

When all expectation is dropped, you might even have brain space to ponder the meaning of life, what you are really here for, what really does matter.

There is gold to be found.

My gold? Disclosure: my main email account has close to 5,000 unread messages. It’s important for me to breathe. Just sit and breathe.

It’s important to me to listen to my children tell me about their day.

I might just have cat hair all over my black jacket when I run out. If it comes down to it, I rather be present for a client. Maybe that will mean being focused enough to offer a critical and helpful insight.

On my journey in life, I have learned a precious lesson: if you don’t prioritize and align your activities to what really matters, life will choose to address that. You want to be the one who chooses, just in case.

And doing it all, perfectly, is the least effective approach. If you’re in a space at the moment where you really just don’t have it all together, it’s a blessing. It truly is.

What is your gold?

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