Who is Sucking Whom’s Blood?

Vampires are a myth, aren’t they?

In the modern world, where do you see the walking dead prey on the living during the day?

Masquerading as regular people until they transform into predatory beasts.

These vampires are not your regular kind.

Let me introduce you to the Emotional Vampire.

You invite them into your world and they suck the life and energy right out of you.

They are everywhere.

They wear many disguises.

Bossy neighbor, bully colleague or the pain-in-the-ass family member?

Anyone you know?

Ever felt completely drained after being with someone, talking to them?

Do you feel exhausted?

Emotionally collapse?

Does the other person demand your constant attention?

Do they always have some crisis or major life event?

Or, do you?

Have you ever encountered, “oh wow, I see you’ve been indulging into too many donuts of recent times, clothes a little tight?”

Or have you ever met someone who is brilliant at extracting emotional reactions and then they feed off them?

Sounding familiar?

Too close to home or perhaps been on the receiving end of the bite in the neck?

What about the person who places themselves in the center of everything and does not listen to anyone?

Do they take up more time than other friends as they are “needy sun-shines” and are brilliant at controlling the time?

Complain, complain and complain how life has dealt them crap.

Never see an element of positivism.

Maybe self-absorbed?

They embrace the victim role like a glove glued to their skin and masterful at finding fault of everybody else.

Have l a hit a soft spot yet?

And when you walk away, you feel like you have had a blood transfusion without the blood having been replaced?

A lifeless body?

Let’s look a little deeper at a few emotional vampires.

Ever experienced the poor-me attitude, the Victim.

World against you and no one understands?

Except for you and only you?

Drowning in their problems however not wanting to take any advice but bitch the whole time.

Some friendly advice, wear some garlic bombs around your neck and repel the all mighty vampire. What often works is being clear with your boundaries and enforcing them. Upgrade your standards so they know what to expect from you and only discuss solutions, otherwise bring out the crucifix.

Have you ever encountered the arrogant self-absorbed, the Narcissist?

The ME first attitude.

The one who believes they are the center of the universe.

The one who needs all the attention and admiration.

Maybe guru status.

As if that’s not enough, they carry a sense of entitlement and if you don’t comply with their standard, they pull their fangs out.

Some insider knowledge. Do not share feelings with them as they are limited emotionally. When you engage them, present benefits to them and stroke their ego every so often, like you are patting a pussy cat waiting for it to purr. More to the point, ask yourself do they need to be in your life? Is this a relationship worth investing in?

And then there is my favorite….

The theatrical drama queen who magnifies and blows shit up to be catastrophic.

Ever met one that will love you one moment and then hate you the next?

They push buttons of insecurity.

Rub salts in your wounds.

Damn, l am getting tired thinking about it.

The up and down-ness exhausts you.

Hmm, what do with them…

Shoot them…. only kidding, maybe taser them for a moment so you can have some quiet time…again only kidding.

Advice. Remain calm. Focus on your breathing and walk away.

And then there is the fat controller…. wonder what they specialize in?

Hmm…they have an opinion about what people need or how they should be living their lives.

The one who is fabulous at putting people down.

Criticize you, your choices and choices of others around.

Belittle you.

Boost their own ego.

Words of wisdom, be assertive and stand your truth with certainty. This will often repel them.

Ever encountered a talker?

What do l mean?

All they do is talk, talk, talk and talk some more. They are consumed in their world and tend not to pick up on social cues.

At times, they do the people pleaser.

Word of warning, interrupt them and add to the conversation. Create the circuit breaker before you get zapped.

The then is the lowest form of vampires in the hierarchy. The one who cuts you down, insults you and has no consideration for your feelings.

We will call them the special one.

The insecure vampire who takes jabs at you, may be passive aggressive and use their own darkness to probe at you.

“You can’t achieve that…. You will never succeed…… You don’t deserve success…… You are not worthy of love”.

They pollute your mind, fuck with your thinking and have a skill of creating environments that their emotional odor would kill a skunk.

Word of wisdom. Eradicate them from your life or enforce other consequences.

Preserve your energy before you put a stake through this vampire.

What have l learnt from these blood sucking parasites?

When l am feeling uncentered, tired, or disempowered, l am a prime candidate.

When l am standing in my truth, l can smell them from a mile away and embrace the opportunity to learn from them.

I can buy into the crap or l can look for the opportunity to see how l can grow and learn more about me.

It’s your choice which role you want to play.

Victim or victor?

You see we all play a part when it comes to these slippery suckers.

When we strive to view them as opportunities, we engage our highest self rather than immerse ourselves in the gutter.

I will admit, l have hit the reset button many times and the more l focus my awareness, my self-discipline increases.

I’m far from perfect and make mistakes all the time.

Having said that, l choose to live an empowered life, free of being a sucker for negativity.

Maybe it’s time to take an inventory of the people in your life.

Whether it be home, relationships, work or general life itself.

Kill the monster when it’s small, not when it is Dracula.

It’s time to spread the garlic all around.

It’s time to spray the holy water.

May be, it’s time to put the stake through the vampire, or not.

If that don’t work, it’s time to shine the light and have clarity.

If not now, when?

Ange

Wanting to break free from emotional vampires, let’s connect — Angela Kambouris Consultancy


Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.com on November 15, 2016.