And how a mindset shift can make every day feel like your birthday
Oh, my birthday.
In the past, I’d have been dropping hints and anticipating the big day for weeks. I would have been dreaming of it, thinking about it, and wishing for its arrival. I’ve always LOVED my birthday.
But one year (in 2015, to be exact), I realized I hadn’t been very excited.
It knew it wasn’t because I was bummed or having a bad birthday. And as I contemplated why, I realized that in the past, my birthday was just about the only time I gave myself permission to ask for and do what I wanted to do.
But in 2015, in the months leading up to my birthday, everything had changed.
A monumental, life-changing tragedy precipitated this change: the unexpected, unexplained, full-term stillbirth of my first child, Maeve Evalyn.
After she died, I questioned everything in my life and made the changes I’m sharing here, but it doesn’t have to take a tragedy for YOU to do the same.
As a result of losing her, and deciding to fully live for myself and for her, I’d stopped saying “someday” or “one day,” and instead I WENT FOR what I wanted.
I decided I was no longer waiting for one day a year to give myself permission to do, get, and most importantly, BE, what I wanted. Since then, and to this day, I focus on these things EVERY day.
I no longer spend every other day outside of my birthday feeling obligated to everyone and everything else in my life.
And, while I was originally scared to be anything but a people-pleaser because I feared conflict above almost anything, ironically, that’s actually IMPROVED my relationships because I’m the authentic, genuine version of me, and that person is much happier and easier to love than the one who lived trying to be what I thought other people wanted or needed from me.
In the months leading up to my birthday that fateful year when everything changed, I:
- Traveled to Europe for 2 weeks
- Moved into my dream house
- Tripled my monthly income
- Got over my lifelong fear of what others think
- Kicked the competitive habit and began surrounding myself with encouraging people
- Shared my story and started inspiring others
- Supported amazing high-achievers around the world in creating their dream lives
I’m celebrating that change today and every day.
I guess you could say I’ve started living every day like it’s my birthday!
What about you?
Don’t wait for your birthday; here’s how you can get closer to your dreams TODAY:
1. Be honest with yourself.
What are the things you are pretending you don’t want in the name of “practicality?” Write them down.
2. Do something to make yourself smile today.
Snap out of your daily rut. Exercise, meditate, go to your favorite coffee/tea shop and “treat yo’ self,” pick up a new book and get lost in it — even if you only have 5 minutes.
3. Just START.
So often in my coaching and consulting, I see the theme of OVERTHOUGHT and UNDER ACTION in women who are struggling to make a change.
The insightful book The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance — What Women Should Know, reported that men will apply for a job when they feel 60% qualified, but women won’t apply unless they feel 100% qualified. Is this true for you, whether or not it relates to you going for a new job, starting or growing a business, or taking another risk you’ve been dreaming of? How does this relate to your life?
Most importantly, action brings clarity (and relieves anxiety!), so where can you take action today?
4. Get support.
Before 2015, I always told myself I could do it on my own because I prided myself on being independent and I honestly found many women to be catty or competitive. So I wasted years and years struggling in my business.
Connecting with the right coach and a like-minded, supportive group of women were the two keys that helped me believe I COULD change, showed me what was possible, and catapulted me to the next level in visibility, income and living authentically, with passion, that I’d so long been dreaming of reaching.
This change came for me years ago. It wasn’t just a temporary fad that eventually faded into the background of “real life” as the rawness of my grief subsided.
I’ve had three more birthdays since then. And this is still how I’m embracing my life every day.
This can be your reality, too. Will you embrace it? Let me know in the comments below!
Ready for more tips on how to get out of your own way and get visible with your business so that you can replace your income and quit or stay out of your 9–5?
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