Why nothing makes us happy anymore. (6 super quick question to find happiness again.)

Why nothing makes us happy anymore. (6 super quick question to find happiness again.)

This was a question that was asked of me by, Adam, from Quora.com. What turned from a quick question quickly transformed into a 1,000+-word “blog” post.

It quickly occurred to me that many people in the world are not as happy as they can be. And should be. Here are a few fast ways to turn that frown upside down. (It isn’t as hard as you would think.)

There are numbers of reason on why people can’t seem to find happiness. And or hold on to it. It could be from lack of exercise. There could be something in our lives that we want/need to change. Regrets. Wanting to do more (Dreams, goals, plans, decisions.) Anything. Happiness is an elusive feeling. But, not for much longer.

The psychology behind it. (Read until the end to see the short answer.)

The biggest thing that makes us unhappy is having high expectations for things in life. If we hold ourselves to this image of what life should be like. We will often become diminished compared to what we “think” life is meant to be.

(I fall victim to them a lot. As being an INFJ. I am very much so a perfectionist and hold myself to high standards. And those around me. Learning that there is a difference from doing my best and hold everything to such a high expectation has greatly helped me become happier. If you haven’t already check out what your personality is. This has a huge benefit to overall happiness as well. Plus, it is FREE.)

Aside from that our minds are “hardwired” to recognize the negatives in our lives so we can avoid them. We are “designed” to survive not so much to be “Happy” and or striving to be our best.

Another cause could be from lack of experiencing new things in life. Once we start to do the same thing every day we begin to feel stagnant and unhappy. We are not wired to do the same things every day (at least not in the extreme as we do now. We are meant to move.) Until we started agriculturally progressing, we were more or less a mitigating species. So that can also play a role in it.

Also, happiness is a fleeting moment. We are always changing every moment of the day. Dopamine levels start to lessons with each reoccurring feeling. And or activities (The reason the same routines can “hurt” our happiness.) (There are countless other factors.)

But, I digress. If we are looking at it for an overall view and not the science and psychology of it. This will be useful.

Pinpointing our current level of happiness & expectations. (Super fast to do.)

There is an exercise that I tell my clients to try. It is simple and takes on a couple of minutes.

People often do not like to be told what to do or how to live their lives. This is an effective exercise to do that gives you the power. And that helps us figure it out ourselves.

1. What is your level of happiness right now on a scale from 1–10 (1 being the lowest.); -What can you do to bring it up to a 10 and or higher?
 2. What is your level of happiness with your social life from a 1–10?; -How can you make it go to a 10 or higher? 3. What is your level of happiness with your job (financially.);

-What ways can you make that go to a 10 or higher?

4. What is your level of happiness romantically?;
 -What can you do to make it a 10 or higher?

5. What is your happiness level with your physical health?; -How can you make it a 10 or higher? 6. What is your level of happiness spiritually?

-What can you do to make it a 10 or higher?

(You can add whatever area of your life that you feel is lacking and or could be better. This is for you, so write out a long of an answer as you would like on a separate piece of paper/doc.)

This has helped many people and is what I learned from one of my mentors when learning from Tony Robbins team.

What is happiness to us? (It isn’t what you think.)

It comes down to what we deem as happiness. What activities did we use to do that brought us joy? What are we currently doing that isn’t bringing us the happiness we are seeking. And what are we doing to rectify it?

Are there any blocks that are limiting us? If so how do we fix it? What will it change? Why does changing change anything at all? Do we need to change anything about ourselves?

And, what are we grateful for. What do we appreciate in our lives at this moment? This is a big part of it. We often neglect the things we have in life until it’s gone. Then we miss it more than anything. Taking time out to list what we are grateful and happy for can greatly bring us more joy in life. (We have to enjoy the little things to begin to enjoy the big ones. Here are 10 ways to live a “perfectly perfect” life — video.)

There are so many things that make up what “happiness” is. Especially for any given person. The first step is to find out what truly makes us happy.

It could be seeing our special someone. Making/eating amazing food. Painting. Writing. It could be traveling the world. Spending time with your family. Playing a game/sport. Or, doing nothing. And it could be trying to do everything. Everyone is different. The best way to see what makes you happy is to spend time alone to evaluate what it is that makes us happy.

Finding happiness.

Once we know what it is that makes us happy we can start being happy. We do less of the things that don’t bring us joy. We have higher boundaries for ourselves. And we learn to live in the here and now. Appreciating every moment life has to offer.

At the end of the day. Happiness is our a mindset. We can be unhappy but we choose to suffer. Happiness is a choice that we have to make every second of the day.

Tomorrow isn’t promised. We have to make the most out of the time that we have now. To leave on empty. Having had done everything we ever dreamed that we would and or could do.

In short.

Happiness is always changing from every day. To every moment. If we are going to be happy, we have to decide to be happy. Finding any small spark of joy and making the most of out it.

There are only a few things in life that will bring more of it when shared/given. Happiness/Joy is one of those things, “Happiness/joy is better shared”

Call to action.

Feel free to test out this exercise listed above and see if it works or not. At the very least do one thing today that brings you joy. That makes you smile and forget about time. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it makes you happy.

Bonus; Do something that not only makes you happy but others as well. Find someone to share your happiness with (Even a stranger. Never know it could lead to a life long thing.)

Comment, what brings you happiness. And what you think happiness is. Also, Feel free to check out my latest article. This can have a huge effect on our happiness. Is social media making our lives better or stealing it. (The truths no-one tells you.)

As always.

We are all in this together but it all starts with you! You are creating history!

Feel free to share, comment & subscribe to get my weekly blog/article first! And to get a FREE Ebook sample of my book “Perfectly Perfect” on Kindle and Amazon.


Jordan Suber, Also, is my Youtube and Facebook.


Founder of Indigo’s New Kingdom & Vibrations Media, LLC


Email: Indigokingdomworld@gmail.com

Author of- Perfectly Perfect

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Originally published at weindigocom.wordpress.com on September 3, 2017.

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