Why Some People Miss Out on Good Things That Come Their Way
Lesson Learnt from the Dating Scene
I recently reached out to someone, I encountered online. We will call him Jack. I checked out Jack’s site and Facebook page. Found them interesting. I also discovered common interests and perhaps potential synergies. You never know. Being me (curious, proactive, risk-taking and always on the lookout for collaboration opportunities and the chance to meet cool people), without thinking too much about it, I dropped Jack an email.
He may respond; he may not. Nothing to lose.
Jack responded within 24 hours thanking me for my message. “It’s great to connect with you,” he wrote. He visited my website and thought it amazing. So far so good. He said that he would love to catch up, but it might have to wait a few months, because he’s in the midst of launching his own project and needs to focus.
I respect that, but a little voice inside of me whispered, “It’ll never happen.” A few months is a helluva a wait in these accelerated times.
When on this journey we call Life, we are always on the move forward. Very few people go back to explore missed opportunities. What was was. Something else — perhaps even better — is sure to pop up. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn’t, but we never know what we’ve missed.
This brief encounter brought back memories.
Many years ago, before the Big Guy came into my life, I too frolicked in a pond of frisky frogs with puckered lips in search of my perfect Mr. Right. I experienced first-hand (or should I say, “first-lips”) that sometimes you’ve gotta kiss a lot of frogs, before you find your true prince. I hated it. The kissing wasn’t what got to me. There were good kissers. (Some, actually, were quite awesome.) And, there were horrible kissers: “slurpy”, drooling, yucky suckers.
What got to me was what would often happen NEXT.
In the pre-Internet dating era people connected by phone and voicemail. The system worked like this: Relationship seekers would post a personal ad in the weekend newspaper. These ads were filled with superlatives and catchy phrases in the attempt to stand out from the crowd. When you encountered an ad you fancied, you would call up and leave a voice message. Then, you waited hoping that HE would call. If you were lucky, after the initial interrogation, you were up-levelled and asked out on a date — a real F2F date. In those days, there were no webcams or online chatting devices, which enable you to see the other person, and you can only go so far on the phone.
I was often one of “lucky” ones. Time and again I would be asked out on dates. Time and again these dates were filled with fun and laughter. Time and again we would connect on many levels creating a warm bond between us. Time and again when the date was over, he would pucker up and kiss me and then, as I waited for him to ask, “When can I see you again?” he would ever so casually remark, “I had a wonderful time, really great! And you are an amazing woman. But, you see, you were my FIRST date, and I still have 78 more women to check out.”
Not surprising, I never saw them again. The sad thing is that many of these men rarely found their true love and continued to frolic in the pond of frisky frogs posting their hopeful messages week after week.
Being me (a quick decision-maker and fearless action taker), when something feels good — here and now — I give it a chance. I don’t wait a few months to check it out. Sometimes amazing things evolve; more often than not, they don’t. But, what I know for sure is that good things don’t wait for us. They too have a life of their own, and while we’re busy trying to make up our mind and/or waiting for the right moment, they move on.
Someone else will be there to pick up the glove*.
It’s time to take control of our lives.
It’s Time 2 Lead.
It’s time to THRIVE.
* Being the romantic that I am, I was always convinced that this idiom comes from courting in olden times. When a woman was interested in a suitor, she would drop her glove to allow him to take initiative, pick it up and return it to her.