Why the Most Difficult People in Our Lives Are Our Greatest Teachers
Turning Adversity into Valuable Spiritual Lessons
The most difficult people that come into our lives are often the ones that have the most to teach us. They reflect back to us what we need to work on and ultimately where we need to grow to experience more healthy, whole and complete lives. This is not intentional on their part, in that, they have not set out to “consciously” teach us anything. The “teaching” is anchored in a spiritual agreement which is not evident outright, to our current state of being or consciousness.
Who are these difficult people in our lives and how do they manifest?
They are often the people closest to us. They are the ones with which we have the most challenging and difficult relationships. They can be our parents, siblings, friends or lovers. They often have their own issues they are working through. This might include mental illness, addiction or even abuse. They might be abusive to us or have inflicted pain upon us.
In the “teaching agreement” THEIR actions are irrelevant, in terms of what WE have to learn. It is only our reaction to their actions that matter. They provide us a roadmap for where we have the most growing to do. Consequently, those who trigger us the most, in terms of our own negative actions or reactions, are often our greatest teachers. This illumination is the key to knowing where we need to love ourselves into greater spiritual growth and healing.
When A Society is ‘Collectively Triggered,’ It Signifies a Tipping Point for Change.
“Teachers” can also appear at the societal level. When an individual or event pushes the collective boundaries of its people, economic or societal institutions and systems, this signifies a tipping point and opportunity for profound positive transformation. During such times, changes in values, beliefs, and perceptions, set the direction for the future of society. However, it cannot be stated enough that this type of change is incredibly painful and a positive outcome isn’t always the result. At the same time, there is no greater opportunity a society faces, for drastic and often much needed, positive change.
The same principles and spiritual “teaching agreement” that occurs on the individual relationship level applies when the vast majority of a society is being triggered at once by a single individual or event. In other words, it’s HOW we choose to react to this individual or event that matters and sets the path for future growth. The actions that we take in response to their actions is where the true power of change breathes life into the potential of a new state of collective consciousness and being.
Painful Change is Necessary for the Soul to Evolve.
Change that is painful or particularly difficult is a necessary condition for a soul’s evolution. The deeper the pain, the greater the transformation that’s underway. When we’re collectively triggered, it signifies that significant growth is required as a necessary condition for a society to evolve. It can be an opportunity to reinforce who we are or alternately who we aren’t. More often than not, it’s something that’s rooted deep in our consciousness and requires fearless honesty to make a true shift.
It’s important to note that these people or events that “trigger us” aren’t there by accident. They are there to help us go through the necessary, painful growth that is essential to our own spiritual evolution, no matter how unpleasant it might be. In other words, we cannot evolve if we do not confront the darkest parts of our soul or collective psyche. Additionally, when a once hidden darkness is brought into the light, the opportunity for meaningful change is all the more profound. As what you can’t see, you can’t possibly have the opportunity to change.
Whenever you’re being triggered by an individual or an event, it’s more important than ever to anchor yourself in six key spiritual truths. The more you can remind yourself of them, everyday, and hold onto them as a guiding force or principle, the greater the chance that you will learn the lessons your soul needs to learn from this “teaching agreement.”
Six Spiritual Truths to Guide a Positive Transformation.
1) The Only Truth is Love. No matter what the world around you is showing you, remember that the only reality and truth is love. If you can hold onto this belief and see that anything OTHER THAN LOVE is a false reality, you will have a greater opportunity to weather the pain that comes with transformation. No matter how angry, fearful and painful things may seem, it’s a lie, in the grand scheme of things. The only real truth IS love.
2) There is No Separation; We Are All One. The perception that we are separate from one another is also a lie that can thwart positive change. We are all connected. We are made of the same stuff and have far more in common than we do which is different or apart. Reminding ourselves of this absolute truth is essential to spiritual growth and wholeness.
3) It’s Not Happening TO Us. We Are All Co-Creators. Everything in our life we have created. Everything. This truth holds true for our individual lives and as our collective experience as ONE. When we take accountability for the part we’ve played in shaping our reality, we open the gates to the possibility of change.
4) Your Ego Speaks to You Through Fear. During profound moments of change your ego will become much louder. It will scream at you from the highest frequencies of fear because it does not want you to change. It wants to keep things the same. The ego doesn’t like change. Identifying and ignoring our “ego voice” during times of powerful change is one of the most important things we can do.
5) Hope is the Secret to Enlightenment. There is nothing as powerful as the energy of hope to transform ourselves and the world around us. When in doubt, find something to hope for or to believe in. Notice the good and then believe that it can and IS multiplying. When you find even the smallest amount of hope, that energy expands and blots out all fear and the negativity that surrounds it.
6) When in Doubt, Be of Service. When you’re feeling particularly vulnerable and unable to manage all the “change” that’s being thrown your way, help someone. When you are feeling so triggered and off balance that you can’t see straight or distinguish between fear and love, or ego and your true soul, then be of service to someone else. Being of service is the single greatest thing you can do to get back in touch with and connected to your soul.