There Are Many Ways to Live Our Lives.
Would We Rather be Winning With Demons or Losing to The Angels
We can either do nothing at all or do absolutely everything, however both options seem almost improbable. Most likely, we drift between emerging in and out of something. On rare occasions, we get to go “beyond”. And when it happens, it is quite enchanting, extremely scary, and absolutely worth it. Though only if we are ready to fully accept the responsibility that comes with it.
Only few are granted such a chance. Only few will fully embark on it. And why? Because the journey beyond is a roller-coaster metamorphosis of the self. A rough and bumpy ride inwards, accompanied by nauseating turns and twists through a maze of old contracts and agreements, crossroads, potential dead-ends and inadvertent course corrections. Everything unfinished or never started gets magnified by the desire for deeper retrospection. Each part of us is calling for attention. The recognition of own qualities over projections imposed upon us begins to resurface; causing the effect instead of being the cause in effect, it beams like the North Star. Temporary elations reach out a heightened sense of awareness that borderlines mysticism only to drop down to the bottom of our humanity as we face parallel realities. Questioning our own sanity is not that uncommon in the light of spinning disapproval. As is falling to the verge of despair. Raising again without the need to right the wrong and wronging the right. Acknowledging others as they are; without a compulsive urge to change them in order to match our expectations. Allowing everybody’s existence under the same umbrella in spite of the differences. Accepting without agreeing by simply permitting various truths to co-exist without arguing or fighting them. Having the courage of own convictions especially when most labeled us “wrong”.
The journey requires a daily ritual of “spring cleaning” to successively remove all that clutter and debris that get in the way of our growth. It calls for a “connoisseur eye” not to get rid of the “vintage” pieces of us worth keeping as they hold timeless value.
A lasting transformation is only possible from deep within; repetitively ripping and stripping the layers of absurd and borrowed assumptions, limiting beliefs and debilitating fears. It is a “dicey” game. It is not for everyone. And it is not because we are not capable of making profound changes. We all are. However, it is because not everybody is ready to experience and withstand the full impact of changes we have potential to enable. Since there is no such thing as fractional transformation — there is truly only one way — the way beyond, complete and unreserved. We cannot cherry pick only what serves us and when it is convenient.
Transformation is a way of being and living. Despite the circumstances, despite the opinions of others, despite our own inner-critic voice. The severity of this commitment is huge. Responsibility is tremendous. Protecting own integrity means accountability to self. Yet many mistakenly take the truth for what people actually want to hear and believe. They betray themselves and those who entrusted them. ‘Inauthentic authenticity’ prevails carried away in the labyrinth of people’s “truth telling” yet overlooking who they are. In the name of the change, wrong bridges are burnt for wrong reasons and new ones are built without a solid foundation. Integrity is being misinterpreted, abused and called upon while getting offended and minding other people’s business persist. Brushing off the surface of one’s own existence, never even fully getting in or out nor ever fully participating. Day dreaming and getting ready for someday while somehow all the essence of read books, attended seminars, and piles of notes taken, will miraculously do its own magic in the absence of any effort to go beyond.
Supposedly, words deliver meanings and create agreements. Then those supposed to ignite authenticity and spruce up the action. Each choice has different strings attached. There is fate and there is destiny. There is a conviction to become our word and what we came here to create. There is a “live show” that goes on, regardless of where we are on our personal timetable, a perennial dilemma — either winning with demons or losing to the angels. There is a world which goes on for the eternity, and we are here just for a portion of the moment mostly spending it being dead or not born yet. Breathing and waiting for somebody or something to make it all right for us. Something from the outside to make us feel connected, whole, loved and ultimately altered.
Sometimes, the door to transformation is being presented to us. Perhaps because life in some way was prepping us for it and when it happens we have no choice but to grab the bull by the horns and drop the resistance. It can be a gift or a curse. Some other times, we choose to work towards it. Diving into wishful thinking about changing own and/or others’ lives. Being clear of the intention and the desired outcome becomes of essence — as the river of change is cold and fighting the rapid current will only capsize our boats and beat us up at the nearest boulder of life. While drifting in the illusion of pain-free transition, we must ask ourselves this significant question “what is that we are willing to stand for……? That answer will revolutionize our outlook entirely. It may just stop us right at that moment because fantasizing about a transformed way of being does not make that desire a reality. On the other hand, hard choices, inconvenient truths, disappointment of the masses — those do. They carve the path to uncompromisingly un-becoming and un-associating from the old self. Only then, the authentic act of creation can happen. Only then, the shift is possible. And it is quite enchanting, extremely scary, and absolutely worth it. Though only if we are ready to fully accept the responsibility to connect utterly and wholly, truthfully and passionately, wholeheartedly and authentically to the unobstructed truths about ourselves and the vision we are here to follow.