You Don’t Get What You Desire
11 Truths You Don’t Have to Learn The Hard Way
You will never get what you want. You get what you decide.
You will become who you decide to become. Not what you want, not what you desire, but what you decide. Every true decision is followed by action. Your success and fulfillment is based on the decisions you make.
When the world is open before you, life is exciting and fulfilling. The fewer options you have, the more you come to resent those options.
Accept what is, and change what isn’t.
Sometimes we know what we should do. Sometimes we don’t. We all make mistakes, mine are too numerous to list in one article…
Even though our career is a journey, we often think we don’t need a map. We do.
We need to have a destination and we need to have a plan, not a plan to tell us what to do, but to adjust correctly as we face the realities of the road.
These are lessons when applied will help us make the best decisions, no matter our destination:
Find a Mentor, Get Feedback & Listen
This is the number one thing I wish I would have done sooner. If you do only one thing early in your career, make sure you find a mentor and listen to them. We can never learn all we need to by experience. Mentors help save you time because they have the experience we all so desperately need.
“Most mentors are leaders. Most leaders are readers, and many readers are also writers.” — Chris Spurvey
Your thoughts determine your decisions. Your decisions determine your actions. If you want make positive change, think positively. You get what you think about. (So maybe you do get what you desire, if you make a choice and then act…)
“…focus vigilantly on being positive, and having a positive mindset, believing in yourself and what is possible, and your world changes for the better.” — Kathy Caprino
Do the Work
If you can get the job done and eventually master your craft, your skills will always be retained. You will have the ability to be productive, provide for yourself, and hopefully make a difference in the world.
“To be able to do a thing, you must begin to do it, and keep doing it until the thing is mastered.” — James Allen
Stay Excited About What You Are Doing
Passion can be choice. Whatever you do, do it with passion. Choose to be fully engaged and you will be rewarded financially, mentally, and socially.
“Passion is the secret to many success stories.” — Lolly Daskal
Love the Process
While we have goals and desired outcomes, what we learn and experience becomes who we are. The journey is the refiners fire, or the masters hand, as we are molded and shaped to become the best version of ourselves. Love the process so life is not based on “What’s Next?” ideas that sap creativity and fulfillment.
“Life is hard. Pain is inevitable. Growth is optional. Real success comes from who you become, not what you achieve.” — LaRae Quy
Gratitude increases overall well-being. You will be happier as you show more gratitude. Your life will get better. You will gain more confidence.
Your level of gratitude determines your level of happiness, as well as your potential for success. It’s difficult to be happy without gratitude.” — Bob Burg
Ask for Help
People want to help. Let them. The more you are helped, the more you can help others. Let go of pride and let other people be involved with your success.
“By showing you respect and trust other people, and by giving them the latitude to freely share their expertise or knowledge, you don’t just get the help you think you want. You might also get the help you really need.” — Jeff Haden
Be Kind. Focus on the needs of others. The more people you help, the more success you will have. The best way you will help others is by sharing your true self. Be vulnerable. Your journey can help other people find the strength they need.
“Your Kindness Will Lead You to Success” ― Bruce Kasanoff
Learn to Ask Better Questions
Most people don’t ask enough questions. Most people don’t ask good questions. Questions help you learn more and build better relationships.
“Questions enable you to connect… Personal relationships build loyalty in a way that expertise or brilliance doesn’t!” — Andrew Sobel
Ask your questions. Study more. Be an expert in everything you do. Read more. Share more. Teach others. Keep learning.
“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” — Walt Disney
Relationships Always Win
Some people say results are the only thing that matters. Of course, duh! What happens when the results are equal or hard to differentiate? Relationships. Build better relationships. Change your mindset from inward focused, to the needs of others and all of your relationships will improve 100%.
“…the biggest lever for change is not a change in self-belief but a fundamental change in the way one sees and regards one’s connections with and obligations to others.” — The Arbinger Institute
Bringing It All Together…
Decide and do. Everything gets easier once a decision is made. You are far more strong than you realize. You will help many more people than you can imagine. Work hard and help others. Your life is made up by the relationships you have, focus on relationships and your life will be better.
Originally published at mareomccracken.com on May 20, 2017.