Liberation from Social Anxiety: The Self-Objectification Trap
Strategies for conquering fear and feeling more like yourself.
From childhood to adulthood, I’ve experienced various forms of nervousness.
During my student days, I would tremble uncontrollably when giving opening remarks as a host. At work, I sometimes stammered when communicating with superiors. In certain situations, I would freeze up when called upon to speak due to nervousness.
The essence of nervousness is actually self-objectification.
As I grew older, having personally experienced one nervous situation after another, I gradually learned to stop caring about others’ evaluations. I also tried to avoid placing myself in the mindset of “I am being judged, watched, and criticized.” This is because most people are actually focused on themselves; “I” am not as scrutinized as imagined.
Here are my thoughts and experiences summarized.
People with social anxiety often habitually jump out of themselves and gaze at themselves from a third-person perspective.
This might be beneficial for some self-centered individuals, but for those of us who prefer to self-objectify, it is very harmful.
When a person places themselves in the position of the object, they become the subject of scrutiny.
This makes people prone to anxiety, perfectionism, and a lack of concern for their own feelings, resulting in a lack of boundaries.
Especially for those who were frequently criticized by their parents during childhood, they tend to gaze at themselves by their parents’ standards (the ideal self), making these situations worse.
How therefore can we get back to subjectivity?
Refrain from Self-Gazing
Refuse to look at yourself and concentrate on your actual inner sensations. Though it takes time to develop this habit and I realize this is easier said than done, keep the seed of this knowledge in your heart.
Express Yourself Rather Than Presenting Yourself
Show your real self instead of trying to project a flawless image.
Gaze at Others
Rather than directing your critical gaze at yourself, gaze on others.
While this is not the ultimate solution, it is a step towards recognizing yourself as the central subject of your own life.
Nobody else has the right to criticize you; you are the most important person there is. Finding this feeling marks the start of self-healing.
