I Can’t Earn It

My roommate and I chatted across from the living room to the dining area, both with coffee in hand. He’s reading Blue Like Jazz. I recommended it for the season of life he’s in.

Toward the end of my reading of the Bible before heading to shower and then on to work, my roommate put his book down and started quoting some of the writing. He was ecstatic. “I totally understand what this guy’s saying.”

He continued tell me how close he’d gotten to walking away from God. Why? Because he was working so hard to earn his faith. Throughout college, his faith was focused on merit, good works and adding to his “faith resume.” This perspective of faith ruined him.

He stopped praying. He stopped connecting with God. He was angry with God. (I can relate)

He told me, “I’ve been able to earn everything in life as long as I’ve worked hard. But it didn’t work for God and that bothered me.”

I nodded my head in agreement. I told him I understood and how amazing and counter-human it is. The fact that you can’t earn God’s favor breaks you.

You must arrive at your human end to begin with God.

My roommate commented, “I just have to sit with it and accept it… and it’s tough.”

It sure is tough. Admitting you can’t earn faith or work hard enough to grasp faith is defeating in all human senses. All of our messages in this world are “if you work hard enough, you can do and have whatever you want.” That doesn’t work for God.

God says, you can work as hard as you want and still not have me. If you’re focused on appeasing God and earning faith, just stop.

Sit with God. Ask Him to allow you to accept His love. It’s tough, but it’s the most incredible prayer you can pray.

My roommate has come to his end… and he’s beginning with God.

How about you?

Originally published at www.releasethesong.net on September 12, 2014.