Picking a side
Why make this about eye candy when it can be ruthlessly and joylessly algorithmic?
Ah, sport. Specifically, the act of plopping oneself down on a comfy chair and watching it; preferably with a few comestibles to hand. Not really for me the sterile appreciation of sport for its own inimitable character building qualities, or the strange compulsion to run around a pitch for hours on end. Instead, I simply pick a team (or individual) and then proceed to throw things at the television until they win. So, without further ado — let me present my (mostly accurate) ordered criteria for picking a team to root for.
General rules (A)
- Is a Sri Lankan team playing? Hopefully self explanatory — they may be terrible but they’re still OUR guys. This is why I still support SL Cricket, in spite of having precious few reasons of late. Slightly more ambivalent about Sri Lankan rugby, but I suppose the same rule applies.
- Have I lived in the country/city/state represented by that team? This rule usually gets me in trouble; for example — I really am not a fan of English rugby but feel honour-bound to root for them when they play. An even more terrible example, I still support New England Patriots and Celtics despite liking very little about either team.
- Do I like the play style or individual; occasionally trumps antipathy to a side — mostly rugby union examples; but the Welsh and French rugby union teams get high marks specifically because they run the ball instead of relying on relentless forward driven momentum. The (now) Denver Bronco QB Peyton Manning for his play calling; Shane Warne for his absolute control over what he wanted to bowl to an opponent and where.
The messier personal stuff (B)
- France. This is where it really diverges into personal preference but I really am a bit of a Francophile in some sporting endeavours — rugby union, football, Arsenal FC
- German football
- Anyone who’s been doing some sport long enough that I’ve forgotten why I even watch them
Breaking ties
On occasion, two or more of these criteria conflict; leaving me with a dilemma. Take for example the 6 Nations Rugby; where France routinely play England. It seems like I should support the English team; except I almost always pick the French (Rule A3, B3).
Why did you need to know any of this? You really didn’t.
