20 Things You Don’t Have to Do, Ever

Basically, there are a ton of things we have to do and we all know about those. So here’s a great big list of shit you NEVER have to do, and a few reasons why:

1. You don’t have to change your dress to avoid rape.

2. You don’t have to respect yourself to demand respect from others. Respect is an inherent feature of our shared human experience.

3. You don’t have to let a man be a man in a relationship, or a business setting, or a church.

4. You don’t have to be nice when you feel threatened, or disrespected, or marginalized, or put upon.

5. You don’t have to support bad or duplicitous people, even when they do “good work.”

6. You don’t have to sacrifice your personal life for your work, regardless of what you do or where you work.

7. You don’t have to talk proper to get your point across.

8. You don’t have to agree to work toward a common goal.

9. You don’t have to keep people who say and think bigoted shit in your life. That goes for anyone.

10. You don’t have to explain your culture — and all that comes with it — to outsiders with questions.

11. You don’t have to focus on the good qualities of a victim you choose to rally behind.

12. You don’t need to explain your mistrust for those who have shown themselves untrustworthy.

13. You don’t have to make Jesus a part of every protest or cause.

14. You don’t have to know every key player in the movement to be a valid player.

15. You don’t have to compare your anecdotal experiences with prejudice to entrenched systemic racism/sexism/classism, etc.

16. You don’t have to be taken seriously after you remind us that you never owned slaves. We know that. That’s not the point.

17. You don’t have to be taken seriously after you remind us men are abused and raped, too. We know that. That’s not the point.

18. You don’t have to lecture anyone in group X on ways to better communicate their goals and thoughts to group Y. They’re doing that exactly how they want to.

19. You don’t have to blame your lack of achievement on racism when you’re just fucking lazy.

20. Black people don’t have to make White people comfortable. Women don’t have to make men feel comfortable. Gay men and women don’t have to make heterosexual men and women feel comfortable.

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