Week Seven: Caleb, Who Was Normal
Tonight I went on a normal-ass date with a boy that turned out to be cuter in person. That probably shouldn’t be as much of a game-changer as it is.
I started talking to Caleb on Bumble early in the week, and after a very typical, uneventful conversation he asked if I’d want to get coffee or a drink sometime. I gave him my number, and, as of Wednesday night, clocked in my earliest-established date yet! #powermoves.
On Thursday, I hung out with friends, who demanded to see pictures of my forthcoming hot date. In the time-honored tradition, I demurred. ‘Uh, ya know, he’s not like… gorgeous, y’know? But he’s, uh, cute, he, uh, kind of looks like Jim Carrey?”My friend, seizing the phone, declared that he looked more like Tom Cruise. We eventually decided on a mix between the two? Or maybe that he just looked like a regular white dude with brown hair.
Saturday night arrived: no jerking around, no lateness. Normal behavior! I showed up and Caleb was already there. And while he didn’t really super look like Jim Carrey, he DID look a LOT like my godfather, who DOES look a LOT like Jim Carrey. Six degrees of Jim Carrey!!!
Caleb was definitely taller than me, and definitely cuter in person. We each got a beer, sat, talked. It was a little awkward? Of course. But two hours went pretty quick, which is no mean feat. He had a normal job in data analytics. He liked baseball. He was wearing a fuckin’ North Face jacket, like a normal-ass typical boy. I realized that he was cute and started telling stories way too fast, but caught myself and managed to rein it/talk at a normal speed.
We walked to the subway and went our separate ways. I have no idea if we’ll see each other again — I’d go out with him again, for sure — but I’m not sure if he was vibing on me? I think years of frat party manners have messed me up a bit, where if someone isn’t grabbing my ass after half an hour, I’m like, “LOL HOW CAN ONE EVER KNOW, LOVE, SHE IS A MYSTERY” and assume they’re not into it. And maybe he isn’t into me.
But that’s ok.
I went on a normal date at a normal place with a normal dude. I had a beer and left feeling the same — or even better — about myself than I had when I showed up.
Is it weird that that’s my metric for success? I think the answer is no. The premise of this project has never been ‘fall in love,’ or ‘get a boyfriend,’ or even ‘hook up’ — it’s to get comfortable going on dates. To repeatedly force myself to go through the motions until it stops being hard to do. And yeah, I got all wiggly on the subway on my way to the date and had to listen to ‘California’ by Grimes at full volume about 6 times to psych myself up, but that’s so much better than it’s been. It’s progress. It’s almost… normal.
Week Eight: come @ me.
