Now that we’re expecting, we need things

Originally published June 21, 2017, in the Times Herald-Record of Middletown, N.Y.

Does anyone have a rocking chair?

Our pregnancy is past the halfway point, and as the summer grows more uncomfortable and Sarah’s belly expands, we’re starting to have discussions about “things.”

We need a crib. That’s the biggest thing. We debated having a separate bassinet, but that thing didn’t make the cut. We live in a small apartment, so we’re being judicious about exactly what thing we need most. Crib in, bassinet out. But changing table necessary. Everyone needs that thing.

But maybe we can combine the changing table and dresser by finding a shorter dresser with a long top. We looked online and at antique dealers far away, worried we’d have to rent a truck just to transport a dresser and changing table to our home. Then we found one around the corner. No further discussion: Get that thing.

Friends say life changes when the baby first appears. You forget every care that lingered before, and now everything after will be totally different. That crying child, typically no more than 10 pounds, is the great human catalyst.

But I contend life changes far before the baby shows up. Life changes when your Facebook feed is suddenly filled with crib advertisements because the internet knows everything you’re doing. Okay, internet, I literally searched once for cribs; I told you to stay out of my personal life.

Our second bedroom is becoming the nursery. Currently the second bedroom is my office, which means the dining room is becoming my office. I’ll have to downsize. I downsized when I moved in with Sarah. Now I’m downsizing again. I figure by age 55, I’ll be confined to a tiny corner of the apartment. Maybe I can keep a book with me.

The nursery needs things. It definitely needs a crib. The changing table and dresser combination is securely in the nursery/office/second bedroom right now. The small things — the gifts Sarah’s parents keep sending us in gargantuan Amazon Prime boxes — are there too. Those include books and stuffed animals, and a lounger. I wish I had a lounger.

Another thing is a bookshelf, but I’m talking Sarah into giving the baby the entire shelving unit in the nursery closet. I can part with my Electric Light Orchestra “Out of the Blue” CD; remember, I really only need a book.

But there’s one more thing we need for the nursery: that rocking chair. And I don’t know if you’ve looked recently, but the contemporary rocking chairs — most of them gliders — are ugly. Apparently it’s necessary you have a rocking chair or glider, and yet nobody can make an attractive one.

Some of the rocking chairs look fine, but there are questions: Is it tall enough so Sarah can eventually fall asleep in it? Is it comfortable enough, because Sarah’s bound to sit in it multiple times every day? Does it match the overall aesthetic of the room — which doesn’t matter as much but, hey, if at all possible?

Oh, and then the question I’d like answered: Is it cheap?

Life is changing fast.