[Day 440] Goodbye, Tarceva!

November 8th, 2017

Dear Tarceva,

Thanks for giving me 440 days to fulfill my dreams. It was an amazing journey that we had together. I still remember vividly my feeling the first day we become friends, it marked Day[0] of my entirely new journey with cancer.

In the last 400+ days that we had together, I went through all kinds of pains, sores, rashes until we start getting along well. Like any other relationship, I was hoping ours will be a bit longer. A Genetech sale person told me last year that she knew someone who were on Tarceva for almost 7 years. So I hope, at least our relationship would last haft that time. I religiously took pills everyday at 3pm. You know … even when I was on my birth control pills, I was not disciplined like that! (Just saying)

I even got more greedy, I entered a clinical trial that claim to make Tarceva last longer. I experience all kind of crazy fatigue for the first time, but I suck it up “It’s all for my relationship with Tarceva” — it will be all good, I keep telling myself!

Like any other relationship, there are only so much I can do. When Tarceva decided to break our relationship, that pain was no joke at all. My body knew it even before I look at the CT scan. I was on my way to the airport to fly back to Los Angeles that day. For the first time after more than a year, I experience such a severe pain. One biopsy, two CT scans, and 6 weeks later, my doctor confirmed.

That was a good journey indeed! I got a chance to live my life happily again and again everyday during our relationship. I went to places, spent time for myself, my family, and my friends.

Today, it’s the end of my journey with Tarceva, my first-line of treatment for lung cancer. And, hello Targisso!

-Los Angeles, December 28th, 2017-