Take Control: Bondage
“Bondage is one of the most common sexual fantasies for women and men alike.” Betony Vernon. Bondage allows the heart rate to increase and the blood to flow through the body causing the skin to be hypersensitive. To introduce bondage play into the bedroom, bind your partner’s hands together, or fasten them to a bed frame. Build the anticipation by teasing and tantalizing with anything from a feather to a whip. Take complete control and revel in your power, the rest is up to you.
Heighten Awareness: Sensory Deprivation
Temporary sensory deprivation can be extremely erotic. When one sense is restrained, the other senses overcompensate and become hyper-alert. Tie a blindfold across your partner’s eyes, then experiment with the other four senses: sound, smell, touch, taste to see how much excitement and anticipation you can create. Example: Let your partner hear you getting undressed, hear you breathe, and maybe moan a little. The sound of you getting closer will build anticipation. Tell your partner what you plan to do to them to bring the excitement to a new level.
Strength and Pleasure: Kegel Balls
Made popular by Anatasia and Christian in “Fifty Shades of Grey,” Ben Wa Balls can serve two main purposes: strength and pleasure. Kegel balls can be used to strengthen the pelvic floor (PC Muscles), thus intensifying sexual pleasure and orgasm. Practice holding the balls inside your vagina for 15 minutes a day, increase the time as you build more muscle. Ben Wa Balls can also provide sexual stimulation, either alone, or in addition to a penis or vibrator. Start by inserting these balls during foreplay to heighten sensation and lubrication. Once you have mastered this, use in conjunction with a vibrator, dildo or butt plug. (Do not insert Ben Wa Balls into the rectum as they can slip in too far and become lost).
Taking things further: Spanking
Them practice of flagellation has been in existence since the beginning of the human race for both religious and pleasurable purposes. Ancient worshippers of the Greek gods practiced flagellation to induce euphoria and facilitate sexual transcendence. To keep things safe, stick to the fleshy areas of the body- thighs, buttocks, and inner arms. Avoid areas where blood vessels lie close to the surface of the skin, such as the neck, backs of knees, elbows, inner wrists, ankles and groin. Waist and stomach, although fleshy should also be avoided due to the vital organs that can be bruised. Feel free to kiss, tickle or lick these areas, but don’t whip. Best position? With knees a bit bend and feet shoulder width apart, place your hands against a wall or sturdy furniture to steady yourself. This position allows access to the butt and genitals. This also allows the skin to stretch a big bringing the nerve endings and blood vessels closer to skin surface.
No matter how hard or soft your fetish play may be, the most important part is consent and communication. What you may be willing to do one night does not apply for all nights, thus communication is important for safety, well being and overall sexual connectedness.