Keeping Away From People On Certain Days is Self Care

Even if it’s a family member, you are well within your rights to steer clear of them, for a while, when you feel the need to.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

As we go about our business of existence, we are bound to have some not so pleasant experiences. We are all vulnerable to them.

But, there is always something we can do about them. We didn’t have to suffer the experience till it wears us out.

The experience can impact our bodies or our minds, or both.

Have you noticed how we automatically, instinctively and protectively evade a pothole on the road or a nasty thorn while picking a flower? Those are attempts at physical self-care.

When it comes to our mental self-care we tend to slack. For no particular reason. Maybe since an emotional hurt is not as tangible as a physical one we let it pass.

And then this becomes a habit. Next, the pile-up of these mental setbacks puts us in the doldrums. It’s a maze we can’t come out of.

This is where the term ‘ psychological sophistication’ comes in.

We must protect our minds just like we shelter our bodies from physical harm. We must do something actionable when we are facing an emotionally perilous situation.

When faced with a toxic person, situation or set-up, simply follow the 3D rule.

• Disengage- withdraw from the conversation, physically remove yourself from the situation or politely exit the set-up that’s not making you feel good.
• Distance — Remain low key, stop further communication, and do the disappearing act for a bit. It will harm no one.
• Defocus.- Mentally shift focus to other thoughts. Physically get your hands involved in some work. Do a complete energy shift.

Or else you will find yourself soaking up the negative vibe, trying to swim against the tide and barely managing to keep your head above the water.

Another point to remember is to not feel guilty about this type of emotional self-care. Like the subtitle of the article says, even if it’s a family member we need to temporarily shut off from, do that.

Avoiding interacting with him/her for a day or two will help de-escalate the tide of negativity you faced in your last interaction with them. This is self-care. It will also send out a subtle yet firm signal that your emotions were put at stake and that it’s not acceptable to you.

In the words of Lalah Della -“Self-care is how you take your power back”.

And this ability lies within us, to feel empowered by taking care of ourselves. It’s that simple.

And keeping interactions minimal because we don’t feel like it or because we are not up for them is self-care.

Practice this form of self-care as and when you feel the need to. You are plainly setting yourself up for good mental health practice.