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A good intention to help is not enough

Good intention is not enough for expressing help to others. Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash

In our life, it's really common to find a condition where people try to be nice to someone else. Based on my life, I really often to facing this situation whenever I try to be nice and help, but somehow I feel some people don’t like to be treated nicely by myself. This makes me question, even though I feel that my intention is good, but why does this situation still happen? These questions led me to find a really good explanation about why people hate people that are too nice.

From the article, it says that even though people want to be nice to be others, but deep inside they have hidden intentions and agendas that motivate them to help/do good things. For example, they want to be perceived as good by others, get social acceptance and approval, or sometimes a martyr complex that led to selflessness. By understanding that every action has intention, some people are naive or even too sensitive to know that every good deed has an agenda behind it.

Probably for some people that naive, they could think that all the good things that they received can be taken for granted. But for some people that are too sensitive, will be reluctant to accept this help from others, knowing that they have an intention behind their actions. For some people that are naive, it could be harming them to get fooled easily, but for some people that are too sensitive, they always feel anxious every time they received good things.

We as a human doesn't have the capability to understand other people's minds or intention, that's why helping each other is not that simply by having a good intention. What we need to do to help each other is try to understand what the other person needs, and find out the way that they are able to receive help.

Based on my experience, the key is communication, on how we can deliver the help. A good intention is not enough if we can’t deliver the help in an acceptable way for the receiver. An analogy, when we want to give somebody a cake (good intention), but we give to others in a harsh way, for example by throwing it (bad delivery), it's really hard for the receiver to understand for receiving help.

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Izzan Bacharrudin S.

Izzan Bacharrudin S.

Person who has believe that the purpose of design is to solving problem, either it is a tangible or intangible form. izzanbs.com