Sometimes I just want to be a “stay-at-home-mom” and wear awesome workout clothes.

Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation talking, but lately it’s been harder and harder to “lean in” when all I really want to do is “lie down.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and think I am quite good at it. I also think I am a good mom too, and I do my best to give Fin as much love and attention as I can during our sacred time together.

But let’s be real folks, whoever said you can “have it all” was a big fat liar. I am here to testify that you absolutely cannot do it all nor have it all, at least not without being delusional as to what “all” means.

But I digress, back to Yoga pants…

This past weekend I got to enjoy 3-straight days with lil’ Fin (thank you MLK Jr.), enjoying walks, parks, play-dates and lunch outings in Malibu. I got to witness some pretty perfect looking Lulu-lemon moms who really seemed to have their shit together. I imagined their immaculate homes, their children sleeping through the night and then everyone happily waking up early to head to the gym; while kiddos play in the daycare and mommy spins up a sweat.

Sometimes I wish that was my life…waking up every day to determine which play-date I want to schedule and which Lulu’s I want to throw on. I envy those moms.

But then I realized, I don’t think “those moms” truly exist. I think the perfect mom-life situation is a myth. Whether you’re a full time mom, or part-time, or a total Sheryl Sandberg. I have no doubt, all of the “mom variations” have their moments of “the grass must be greener on the other side.”

Or at least that’s what I will tell myself. I will sit here on my atrophied buns in my yoga pants (ahem - PJ’s from last night) pretending that some stay-at-home mom actually wishes she got to hop on the train at 7am every weekday (with wet hair, no makeup on) to escape the madness of home, steal a good nap, and then prepare for some adrenaline pumping client presentations. (right…? anyone…?)

So here’s my solution: I practice “ignorance” and “delusions of grandeur.”

That’s right, you heard me correctly:

I just pretend that the kitchen is indeed clean, and that the laundry isn’t piling up, and that I can absolutely bring my A-game at work tomorrow even after 5 hours of majorly broken sleep.

And so far, this method of delusion is working out great for me. Fake it till you make it folks.

OH, and my other secret: DELEGATION. My hubs might call this “nagging” — but now we’re just splitting hairs over vernacular.

Calling all moms out there who are reading this…what is your secret for survival? And Dear GOD please don’t tell me about how you meal-plan or cook in bulk on Sundays…I want real honest stories here of how you “get by”.

Ok, now I am going to go upstairs with the intention of doing some light-yoga in the loft (i.e. shavasana time)

See ya.