Eating ancient penises among the hottest food trends of 2016
Okay, not literally, but the origins of the cannoli are seriously phallic
I hate to add another phallic food reference to your running list, but this one is making a resurgence.
The cannoli was named one of 2016’s hottest food trends, in the aggravating-yet-popular movement of deliberate antiquation known as hipster gourmet.
What you might not know is that the cannoli was originally designed to look, feel, and act like an aroused penis. This Sicilian folksong, indexed in 1889, leaves little doubt:
Every cannolo is a scepter to every King;
They drive women to distraction;
The cannolo is the rod of Moses
Can you spot the double entendres?
“A hard cylinder with white cream filling oozing out its ends,” writes Allison Scola for Inquisitive Eater, the cannoli is a penile orgasm in one bite. It’s handheld but messy, lickable and delightful in its sweetness.
Though the actual dates cannoli were invented are murky, historians do trace the dessert back to ancient times. Cannoli was likely popularized around the Sicilian Carnevale, a pre-Lent festival of indulgence and abundance, celebrated with raucous parties, balls, and outdoor festivities. Italian cookbook Sweet Sensations of Italy characterizes the celebration as “an orgiastic lack of control.”
During this time, cannoli were often sold at carts, an early version of takeout not unlike the ice cream cone — portable and refreshing.
The original cannoli recipe has evolved over time as other cultures added their own tickles to the treat. Prior to the introduction of refined sugar, the first cannoli chefs sweetened sheep’s milk ricotta with honey and pumped the cream into tight, fried pastry tubes. Sometimes the pastry dough was mixed with wine. American adaptations tend to use cow’s milk or mascarpone cheese. Today you may encounter cannoli spiced with cinnamon or orange zest. Chefs add further flair by mixing the cream with chocolate chips or adding pistachios — just to the tip.
In response to the craze, one pastry shop chef created cannoli donuts at a top secret location in Brooklyn. Though “donnolis” are feverishly erotic in appearance, hipsters desperate for vanguard Instagram photos won’t care a lick.
