Results of the WYSDM Experiment
Why vulnerability leads to connection
Is it possible to present your authentic self digitally?
A few weeks ago, I started an experiment on Tinder called ‘Would you still date me?’. (Go ahead a try it yourself) I asked users to re-write their profiles and reveal more of their true character — including positive and negative traits. This was an attempt to represent their authentic selves online. I was hoping that this would help curb much of the ‘small talk’ and would lead to more meaningful conversation.
Guess what? People like honesty.
People are craving for something that feels real online. I was surprised at the screenshots my participants would send me (see above). They received more enthusiastic responses because they were signalling to people that they weren’t being fake.
But wait…does this truly represent your identity? 🤔
While I consider this small experiment to be successful (as in my objectives were improving the initial messaging interaction), I do realize that people’s descriptions weren’t necessarily a ‘true’ representation of identity. In fact, after speaking with Tina (our Alumni in Residence), she pointed out that perhaps it’s the idea that people are willing to be honest is what helped people open up and be more vulnerable.
Lessons learned
After doing this brief experiment, I’ve learned a few things that are critical to fostering authentic connection in Online Dating.
- People are more likely to open up if you’re willing to be vulnerable
I think this is an important point because people have commented to me that Tinder sometimes feels like a game of who gives a f!@# less. My recommendation is if you put yourself out there more, you might have more success with getting a better interaction. - We don’t do a good job or representing ourselves online
We often show the best sides of ourselves or disclose really general information that it’s hard for people to get a sense of your true self. Once I encouraged participants to re-write their profiles to describe more of their tendencies and behaviours, people actually felt they could ‘imagine’ their personalities better. You might do a better job of attracting the right kind of people towards you
Next steps
This was a great small experiment but I need to pursue how we can experience more authentic interactions online. I’ll keep you posted!
