The Most Hard-Earned Lesson from My Early 20s
It changed my life. It can change yours too.
The wonderful thing about therapy is that it taught me to look at myself through a kinder lens. There was never any judgment in this space — only reflection and acceptance.
I told my therapist that I’d done a lot of crazy things I was ashamed of and regretted.
He asked me, “Why would you say it was crazy?”
I told him, “Well it’s because normal people don’t do that.”
He asked, “Who are the normal people? Who says you can’t do what you did? You did what you did because you were triggered. You were under the influence of your emotional stress. There was a reason.”
And he was right. I didn’t accept my reasons; instead, I shamed and blamed myself, I tortured myself with regrets. I didn’t realise they were the mistakes I was supposed to make because it was the only way I could learn to not do it next time.
Throughout my early twenties, I pushed and crossed a lot of boundaries. I exposed myself to things that caused me massive stress. I did things that were hard to comprehend. I made mistakes that put my wellbeing at risk. I asked endless questions, deep questions, difficult questions. I lost myself and then I discovered the answers I truly needed.
