Thaf Tol’eth Them — the words that inspired a new brethren language
Yo brethren, Thaf tol’eth them?
Over the next quarter-decade, I would be met with the unmistakable — The barrage of high-pitched squeals that followed statements of this construction.
I would soon learn, upon rigorous deduction that the statements themselves were not the cause of such eruptions, No! — At least not for the laughter, nor had the speaker anything to do with it either. After all, he was only the conduit of expression. An avenue for utterance. A channel.
The ‘spike’ lay within the punch itself. The pun… Don’t be silly! I mean the WOOORRDS, not the alcoholic drink.
In my sixth grade, I was met with a new challenge; I went into business, compiling notes from all classes I may have skipped, which I eventually sold to a mate in another school. Back then, it would be unlikely that one be found alive if apprehended while on this trade mission, but not all men are wired with fear thanks to my obedient mother who had kept to the doctor’s prescription — one clove of garlic every half hour. Garlic drives deep down the fear in little boys.
A year ago, I find one of those notebooks. Somehow only now, the words written, and of familiar handwriting, would make different sense. I had copied every one of those lectures in brethren language, concealing their real content in the event that they be found and incriminate me.
Brethren Language is much indebted to those rediscovered pamphlets.
Through all the era that Brethren Language thrived, no level of growth and evolution will ever be as phenomenal as the period spanning the years 2002 through 2005. In Brethren History, this was the ‘THAF DIDDED IT’ age. O, what Glorious years. O what Glorious years!
Despite the originality of this speaking style, it was quite unpleasant to hear it spoken from feminine persons. Very unpleasant. The ladies wanted so bad to play ‘language’ too, but they’d have been better blowing their noses midway a burp.
And of course, because direct migration from English language was discouraged, you were required to be knowledgeable firsthand in the ‘local Pidgin language’.
For this reason, our solely-English speaking ‘sistren’ stood pre-disqualified.
Care should be taken however not to confuse the generic sisteren (symbolising more than one sister) to the ‘sistren’ of the Brethen Language. For reasons of clarity, Brethren words will be italized and then underlined.
There there! You can ease up on the frown now.
I could sense your confusion.
Tis understanded? or Thaf never barbeth!
Thoughts suddenly emerge of the legendary Tosu. Affectionately referred to as Legentsa, or simply Legen! Tosu too was however not his real name.
Legen was a ‘senior’. He was a ‘Brethren foolavite’. A true genius. He created the Language with ease, and most often in the course of speaking. He was most dexterous with its conjugation and modifications. The ‘Brethren community’ idolised his genius.
The last time I saw Tosu, He had grown a pot belly that peeked quite uncharacteristically from underneath his tightly buttoned shirt!
I had wished to acquaint you with as many Brethren words as possible, and their meanings in common English, with the aid of a reenactment, but I repeatedly have to remind myself that the Brethren language is best consumed audial.
My intention was to brew up a skit laying bare an interaction between three Brethren connoisseurs (myself included, obviously) as we waited in queue to chance upon a bowl of ‘D-Base’ -a local Brethren delicacy.
I will save that for another day!
