No Thanks — Diets Are For Chumps!

A diet is just “DIE” with a “T” on the end. We don’t want any of that!

Jason Weiland
Jan 11 · 5 min read
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Photo by Nathan Bingle on Unsplash

Are you bulging in the middle and wondering if Keto is as disgusting as it sounds? “Oh, a T-bone wrapped in bacon? My arteries thank you! Can I eat a whole stick of butter like a moon pie? Sign me up!”

Did you have a baby and are wondering if the baby bump will ever go away? Are you shopping at Wal-mart in yoga pants or sweats because your butt is two sizes too big for your jeans? Do people regularly comment on your weight, making you feel ugly, even if you happen to like your body?

Are you tired of explaining to people that carrying extra weight does not equal unhealthy? It’s only been the last century that skinny and frail-looking were vogue, so why should we comply with an unrealistic and harmful standard?

Isn’t it time we stopped giving a shit what other people think of our bodies when we are thrilled with our appearance? Should we feel obligated to look a certain way because fat offends certain people?

If you have good blood pressure, heart rate, cholesterol, and blood sugar, should you listen when people tell you that you need to go on a diet?

After we indulge during the holidays, everyone starts talking about New Year’s resolutions. This year is bound to worsen because we hope that 2021 won’t be another dumpster fire like 2020. People will feel obligated to make huge goals even though the first week of 2021 does not look promising.

“That white supremacy that America is wearing does not accentuate her figure.”

What’s the main goal most people will put at the top of their list during this time of year?

Losing weight.

Do we all need to lose weight? Not all of us, and as much as you gym rats cajole and complain about our extra 20 pounds, it is unrealistic to expect everyone to starve themselves for six-pack abs.

By society’s standards, I’m overweight. My arms and legs are fine — the problem area is my torso. I have a bit of a belly, and my moobs (man-boobs) are quite perky. Do either my wife or I have a problem with my weight?

No, we don’t.

My blood pressure is managed well for a man my age, my heart is strong and peppy, my cholesterol is well under what it should be, and my blood sugar is controlled.

Do I need to go on a diet?

No, but I might need to eat healthier to keep my stats in the green. Maybe if I cut down on the sugary beverages, I will be fine.

Am I healthy?

Yes, I am. I’m a little heavier than I should be because I take medication for my mental illness. I have good eating habits. I watch my sugar (except for soda — I drink it a few times a week), and I don’t overeat foods with saturated fats.

My diet is balanced, and even though I’ll indulge in a hamburger once in a while, I do everything in moderation. I don’t even drink too much — a couple of times a month, I will have a few beers with my brothers-in-law.

I’ve kept on the weight around my middle because antipsychotics and antidepressants are known to cause weight gain. There is no way I will deny myself the pleasure of eating certain foods to lose weight because other people have a problem with my fat belly.

I like myself. I like my body. I want to eat. I refuse to limit myself because contemporary society prefers thin and muscular people.

I don’t want to go to the gym. I like walking. I won’t push myself needlessly because you are uncomfortable around fat people.

I’ve had too much pain in my life to deny myself the little pleasure I get from eating certain foods and relaxing — as long as I’m healthy.

If I don’t have a problem with how I look and the people in my life aren’t worrying my weight is unhealthy, why should I care if you are offended in your nutrient-starved brain, and I don’t look like you do or think as you do?

Everyone suggests you should know the state of your body. You see a doctor and have blood tests done regularly. Get your blood pressure and sugar checked often.

I do the standard blood tests once a year and check my pressure daily. I take vitamins and supplements and eat plenty of the right kinds of things my body needs — protein, carbs, and fat.

If I am sick, I ask my doctor if a change in diet is in order, and I listen to her advice. But there is no need to be on a diet if I am happy with the way I look.

Haven’t we all spent way too much time worrying about what others think of us? Why is a diet always the answer to any problem we face?

  • “Oh, you’re depressed? You need to go vegan!”
  • “Your feet hurt from walking? Keto helped me lose 20 pounds!”
  • “You would feel better if you were on Herbalife!”

I would be a much happier person if people asked what they can do to help my mood and add to my happiness, instead of commenting on my waistline.

“No, Karen, my problem is not my extra 30 pounds — I have anxiety and depression, you twit!”

I’m saying that the problem is not that we are promoting an unhealthy lifestyle by existing as a fat person — because a lot of us are very healthy. The problem is the people who have a problem with fat people existing at all, taking up extra space, and upsetting them because we dare to eat a Big Mac once in a while.

We make them uncomfortable because we are happy with ourselves the way were are, and they will never be satisfied with themselves as long as they don’t fit society’s perfect standards. Stop reading fashion magazines and scrolling through the unrealistically thin and muscular bodies on Instagram, and start accepting bodies that aren’t like yours.

We refuse to be the size you say we have to be.

Get over it!

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Jason Weiland

Written by

Introverted essayist and fulltime YouTuber | Dreamer - I am doing it my way and it might take a bit longer. Don't wait up.

TMI: Too Much Information

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