Reason #9: Want to really know someone? Here’s how

Charlotte joined 6 months ago, you’ve seen her around the office a few times. She brings her own mug to work with a picture of her cat on it, the picture slightly stretched as the website she got it from wouldn’t make it quite the right resolution. She gets in at 8:45am every day without fail and is out of the office at 5:30pm each night. Through the day she sits staring at her screen with her headphones in playing what sounds like the score of Wicked, on repeat. She breaks for lunch at 11:55am (to “beat the rush”) then sits alone with her squashed sandwiches, cheese and onion crisps, satsuma and (on Fridays) a “naughty” chocolate chip biscuit all washed down with a can of Diet Coke. Back at her desk by 12:35pm she works through until quitting time with barely a sniffle. If you didn’t know she was there you’d probably miss her.

Feeling slightly sorry for her you see if she wants to join the company rugby team, where you hope she will open up a little and maybe make a few friends. You get to training and almost immediately, you realise a mistake has been made… Charlotte, all 110 pounds of her, launches herself into the CEO, spear-tackling her and pinning her to the ground. She quickly gets to her feet and hovers over her prey… did she just froth at the mouth? The ball has long gone and suddenly Charlotte’s ear’s prick up as she locks on the next unsuspecting victim, galloping towards her at a pace Bolt himself would be proud of. There is an almighty crack as Ethel from accounts is propelled 3 feet in the air, blue in the face. Poor Ethel, that hip had only just been replaced. 45 more minutes of aggression ensue and by the end of it the pitch is comparable to that of a battlefield, bodies lying everywhere, the heavy breathing punctuated with occasional groans of pain from the wounded soldiers.

Sport does something to people, putting them in situations that allow you to see a whole new side of them. Just be careful, who knows what you might release…

Want to find out what your friends are really like? Join Tmup now.

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