Permission to: Be You, Not Their Construct

“Never apologize to others for their misunderstanding of who you are” // 🌙

We’re often told the importance of being our ‘best self’. The ‘best self’ demand tells us that there are ‘wrong’ or undesirable parts of our way of being. It argues that we must skillfully pick, choose, amplify and hide parts of who we are. ‘Best self’ pressures us to perform, to hustle for approval, to earn people’s acceptance of the parts of our story that they feel comfortable with conceptualizing. ‘Best self’ tells us we need to place our attention on being the construct people have created of ourselves, and hide ever being all of who we are.

It might sound cheesy, but every part of you is your ‘best’ self, especially the ‘imperfection’. There are no parts that are or will be too confusing or too much for others to experience. People are frequently wrong, and especially wrong in their assumptions and limited understanding of who you are. You are not only quiet or only loud — you are both. You are not only outgoing or only shy — you are both. You are not only innocent or only wild — you are both. There is nothing wrong or lesser about certain ‘characteristics’ we express. We all have a spectrum of characteristics, not one or the other of sorts. We express ourselves differently depending upon our environments, and what we feel in our heart to be right moment to moment. People will continue to haphazardly develop labels and ways of categorizing us, but those ‘measurements’ will never be accurate portrayals of who we are. You can’t ever be measured, summed up or categorized. Those are their misguided attempts at easing their anxiety by trying to control their environment — by trying to control your emotional and behavioral expressions. Know that the ones who deserve to be with you –won’t try to place you in a box — because they, too, know how suffocating that is. This slip is definitely one of the hardest ones for me to remember, but if you need any support like I do with this, know that there’s nothing you need to hide, and no ‘best’ you need to only show. Every single part of you, the way you express you, is infinitely beautiful and the ‘best’ on its own. 💖 #permissionslips

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