Today's Story
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Today's Story

My Choice To Divorce OPIATES

Another person I knew on a personal level recently passed away. Someone young, just a few years younger than me.

Someone who I wouldn’t have ever called a good friend; I’d say they were more like a past associate. They came from that Addict social realm. So, let’s say I have my assumptions as to the cause of death. But I won’t focus on that.

I honestly wouldn’t say I am quite sad; it has been some time since I had spoke to them.

I also, can say I am not quite surprised. It has become numbing when I hear news like this. Whether it is someone living an active life of addiction, or one no longer actively using, and was a supposed Recovering Addict.

Quite frankly, those titles always carry a large realm of mystery, since none of us truly ever know what the truthful title is. Only the addict/recovering addict and God ever TRULY know which title is appropriate and honest. This recent passing brings many of my thoughts, and much of my knowledge to the forefront though.

It once again, for the 1,000th time reminds me, that there are no 70 or 80 year old active Heroin users.

We just cannot continue using, without being stopped by Rehab, Prison, or Death. I am thankful to God that I have stopped using. I’m not lucky enough to just get rehab if I go back to using, and I just ain’t built for a State Prison. No shame admitting that; and I really do not want to die. I do not want to do that to myself, and I do not want to do that to my family and friends either.

I also do not believe that, that is all God has intended for me either, so the only way I can see what God has for me, is if I remain Sober, so I do NOT die, and CUT OFF God’s plan. Since my options are running out, my choice I choose is the choice of “Staying Alive.”

A choice, that the further I go forward, with that choice, the lil bit easier it will become. Now, easy does not mean I can be careless.I always have to have my guard up, and my tools close by, but it does get easier to do the right thing.

The more of the right thing I do, the more “ALIVE” I know God will help me stay.

I also must keep in mind that there are still some odds always against me. Lets look for instance at my past lifestyles and choices. Some clearly have done damage, some damage permanent, and some repairable. A small chance and time frame to heal, is sure better than no chance for any healing. I do have control in NOT furthering any present damage. I want to have a lot of decades to live. RIGHT & HONEST.

I DO NOT have any more time to waste. No more minutes, or seconds.

I have wasted enough years to my relationship with Heroin. My relationship with Heroin, was chaotic, as well as physically, and mentally abusive. For sure, it was the most abusive relationship I know I will ever experience. The break up must stay done.

My DIVORCE to HEROIN needs to remain PERMANENT.

#opioidcrisis #Addiction #Sobriety #mentalhealth #depression #recovery #bipolar #lifelessons #suicide #selfimprovement #overdose

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“Today’s Story” is a publication that offers a platform for Mental Health, Sobriety, Mindfulness, Self Help, Spirituality and any other nonfiction that can offer motivation and hope. Goal is to be a voice for the voiceless. Editor & Publisher @MichaelPatanella

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Michael Patanella

Michael Patanella

Author, Publisher, and Editor. I cover mindfulness, mental health, addiction, sobriety, life, and spirituality among other things. MichaelPatanella.medium.com

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